This

This I Promise You

This is a beautiful song.  The words are gorgeous.

I wish James was here with me right now.  I wish he was back in my life.  I've written a lot about how much I ache, and I do.  I miss him a lot.  But I wish he was here.  I wish I could hug him for a very long time.  Like forever.  I wish I could hug him forever.  

I think about him all the time.  I have not written much on the blog because what is left to say?  I still believe everything that I've written about.  I believe this journey is about manifestation.  I believe James is my strongest soul mate and mirror.  My "twin soul" whatever that truly is.  But more than that he is the man I met and fell in love with.  He is my dream come true and I want him in my life more than I've ever wanted anything else.  I want all the things we dreamed about and spoke with each other.  I will always believe he is a good man, a strong and healthy man, healthy in all ways.  When we met he told me he loves being in love, loves being in a committed monogamous relationship, and he was ready to be in a relationship, hoping to be married in the future.  He said he loves marriage.  He loves coming home to spend time and life with the woman he loves, and then when he met me he said he'd finally found the woman he'd been wishing for.  I remember how sweet, kind, generous, thoughtful, gentle, loving and patient he was with me.  I know that's him.

I still believe he's been my mirror.  And if I am his mirror then all I do is show him that I love him.  I don't feel the desire to send him anything but love and adoration.  He is very special to me.  I trust him, and I feel in my heart all he wants is to love me. 

I love James so much. 

James always told me that when we are married we'd make love every night.  He said he wanted to be good to me, that I deserve for someone to treat me well now.  He told me I need to accept love, and to accept that he loves me and wants me in his life.

But I do accept it.  I accept that he loves me.  He loves me and wants to be with me.  That is what I believe, and because he is the only man I want- I hold on to him.  I am holding on to my dreams.  I really only want James.  I wish we were together.  I dream of him being a part of my family, my happy family.  I'd love to hear from him, talk to him and see him again.  I think back to last year when I saw his sweet face again and he held me, kissed me and made love to me.  I wish I could be blessed with his presence but this time forever.

I believe in us, still.  I know our love exists.  I love him and miss him, and I pray, hope, wish and dream of the day when I can see his sweet face again.

I love his beautiful face.

I love his sweet kisses.

I want to be his Strawberry Fields; all I want to do is love him and be good to him. 

For now I feel like all I can do is keep my focus as positive as I can, and stay faithful to the connection and to him.  Keeping my energy on what I want.  Holding on to him because he is truly what I want most.  

I miss my dear loving kind friend.  I love everything about him.  I really hope I can hear from him soon.

Jennifer