I read an article on the web about twin souls and this is what it said:
"The twin flame reunion process is one of the most challenging, compelling, and confusing experiences for both partners involved--and often for other people in their lives too. In our previous article “How Do I Know If I’ve Found My Twin Flame?” we discussed characteristics of a twin flame connection, as well as reasons why that type of relationship is significant to twin partners and to the planet as a whole. Unfortunately, once found, your twin flame partner can go through phases of appearing cryptic, distant, scary, unpredictable, or even out-of-sync from the person you know and remember him or her to be."
It's that end part there that is SO my experience! He turned totally cryptic! Creepy even. Distant and he scared the SHIT out of me! Totally out-of-synch from the person I knew him to be.
I am SO ready to be over this behavior that "seems" detrimental or hurtful. I am lucky that I see it for what it is but DAMN I am weary. I truly am weary my friends. I feel like I have been in battle. Honest to God. I feel like I have been in battle because I am constantly leaning towards forgetting the "real" Joron and believing this strange mirroring. I know I write about this a lot but it's, of course, to get it through my thick skull that he does not choose to torture me.
So here is a question for anyone who might be reading my posts {and someone is because I am nearing 20,000 blog hits within the next day or two} why is it that SOOOOOO many runners just "shift" into someone else? I mean that is just not normal. "Normal" people do not do that. I know there are crazy people out there but it's totally not normal that all these people are becoming our "arch nemesis" once they pull away.
I swear I think it is because they begin to mirror the "chaser." It just follows such a specific pattern. So many of us battle with the same fears: rejection, abandonment, lack of love. Same for me. I was scared Joron would decide I was not worthwhile and he'd leave me. I was afraid he'd choose his career over me. He fucking loves science sooooo much that I was terrified one day he'd up and leave me, and then he did. I wrote it all out in my journal, my fears, and then he left me. He wrote out all his love to me via email and I wrote back "but what if you decide your science is more important or I'm too much of a hassle because I have a child." TOTAL bullshit because he'd already MET my son and fell in love with him- it was all my fear and then, when the moment was prime, BAM he "ran" and everything shifted. And I swear it was all a reflection of ME. He may look like a fucking looney tune but it's only because he is a reflection of me, and again I think that is because *I* am the one expected to learn some lessons about my energy. I think this is why most psychics and twin soul gurus will tell us flat out "Do not worry about them. Worry about yourself." This is because if we only wonder what is wrong with them and never change ourselves then they are always going to remain the way they are because they mirror our fears, worries, doubts, etc. We have to heal all that while holding on to unconditional love for them. Having unconditional love for a person who feels like he is "hurting" you isn't easy. You have to try and remember, always, who they really are in order to get there. Only once you bring the real them back to you will they become that person again.
And why do they shift in the first place? I think it's because we get suspicious based on our fears. I always wondered if he'd choose his science over me. I still had a tiny fear that he was too good to be true. And when he moved to CA I got resentful. I kept thinking "He's not making me a priority." Then I got all freaked out inside and jealous when he'd go for dinner or to watch a game. It was very hard being separated from him but had I known then what I know now I would have been a lot more careful with my energy. My Higher Self told me to love him there as if he was here and to trust him. I was always slightly suspicious of him because I only knew so much of his life. I always feared the worst.
Fearing the worst in a twin soul union is not a good thing!!!
So here is a question for anyone who might be reading my posts {and someone is because I am nearing 20,000 blog hits within the next day or two} why is it that SOOOOOO many runners just "shift" into someone else? I mean that is just not normal. "Normal" people do not do that. I know there are crazy people out there but it's totally not normal that all these people are becoming our "arch nemesis" once they pull away.
I swear I think it is because they begin to mirror the "chaser." It just follows such a specific pattern. So many of us battle with the same fears: rejection, abandonment, lack of love. Same for me. I was scared Joron would decide I was not worthwhile and he'd leave me. I was afraid he'd choose his career over me. He fucking loves science sooooo much that I was terrified one day he'd up and leave me, and then he did. I wrote it all out in my journal, my fears, and then he left me. He wrote out all his love to me via email and I wrote back "but what if you decide your science is more important or I'm too much of a hassle because I have a child." TOTAL bullshit because he'd already MET my son and fell in love with him- it was all my fear and then, when the moment was prime, BAM he "ran" and everything shifted. And I swear it was all a reflection of ME. He may look like a fucking looney tune but it's only because he is a reflection of me, and again I think that is because *I* am the one expected to learn some lessons about my energy. I think this is why most psychics and twin soul gurus will tell us flat out "Do not worry about them. Worry about yourself." This is because if we only wonder what is wrong with them and never change ourselves then they are always going to remain the way they are because they mirror our fears, worries, doubts, etc. We have to heal all that while holding on to unconditional love for them. Having unconditional love for a person who feels like he is "hurting" you isn't easy. You have to try and remember, always, who they really are in order to get there. Only once you bring the real them back to you will they become that person again.
And why do they shift in the first place? I think it's because we get suspicious based on our fears. I always wondered if he'd choose his science over me. I still had a tiny fear that he was too good to be true. And when he moved to CA I got resentful. I kept thinking "He's not making me a priority." Then I got all freaked out inside and jealous when he'd go for dinner or to watch a game. It was very hard being separated from him but had I known then what I know now I would have been a lot more careful with my energy. My Higher Self told me to love him there as if he was here and to trust him. I was always slightly suspicious of him because I only knew so much of his life. I always feared the worst.
Fearing the worst in a twin soul union is not a good thing!!!
And there there is this from the article:
"Consciously and unconsciously, twin flame partners engage in behaviors that can seem counter-productive, detrimental, or hurtful-- but these activities are ultimately meant to serve them both, propel their soul missions, and help them assist other people in their world."
I am conscious to all of this so I don't send him anything hurtful. I know it is unconscious for him. God it is so hard to believe but all the facts surrounding the situation point to it being unconscious for him. I really do think he writes this stuff and doesn't remember it later. This is why I don't defend myself or shoot anything negative back at him. It would be worthless and detrimental to do so. Right now I send him nothing at all because I am not meant to. I'd be explaining this on Spiritual Forums and people would argue with me for not questioning him or "defending" myself but I know my Higher Self well enough that if I caved to all-out accusing him then I'd have that shit come back at me later and I so don't need that.
I guess an analogy could be he is like the nurse administering the shot. The shot hurts but it's for a beneficial purpose, even if it is scary and it hurts. Even if the sweet kind loving nurse has never "hurt" you before but now she's wrapping a stretchy white band around your arm and flicking you to find a good vein so she can stick you with a nice long needle. Me being mean to Joron for the mirroring would be like me punching the nurse in the face for giving me the shot.
Make sense?
Or... even better. Imagine a woman sitting in a booth with a one-sided mirror holding a remote with a button. She is told to press the button when a red light flashes. On the other side of a the booth is her lover, a closet alcoholic with a shot of whiskey in front of him. He can see her but she cannot see him. Whenever he reaches for the whiskey the red light flashes in her booth and he can see her press a button that shocks him but she has no idea what she's doing to him. It's unlike his sweet love to "hurt" him but he can see what's happening- the shock is helping to condition him to not want the whiskey.
That's Joron. Shocking my ass awake. But I'm so ready for the shocking to end and the loving to begin again.
I know it's there. I really do :)
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