I am very well-behaved with my twin soul in how I react to him in 3D. Knowing him has helped me become blessedly non-reactive, an achievement I am SO thankful for. But just because I refuse to react in 3D meaning I do not engage when I get a strange message... I don't email back something shitty, etc. but still I may feel fear inside that I don't express. In my union he absolutely mirrors my fears that I do not express to him "in person." EVERYTHING inside of me is under a magnifying glass when it comes to my twin soul. I can go through my journal and see where I've written things that are reflected back to me through James. My private JOURNAL. Like I used to get all ego-pissy and write in my journal, "I deserve love now!" Then one day he wrote to me and... well now if I am going to write anything it will be, "I am ready to bring your amazing love back to me." I won't write here what was actually reflected back to me through demanding in my journal that I "deserve" love- like any love. Just know that each time I get mirrored I can go back and see clearly where it originated from!
So I might put on a brave face and stand up to the reflection by not reacting in 3D but still I might be tempted to wonder, "Is is REALLY mirroring or is this guy a total unfeeling jackass after all?" Not possible, not after the angel he showed me in real life. But anyway. Last year we were in the middle of yet another strange email conversation and I was facing down fear, hardcore. I wrote to him and told him I still wanted to marry him and have his baby. This is what he wrote back to me, "What? Are you fucking kidding me? You would seriously want to spend your life with this asshole?"
It reminded me of her message below, here where she says our ego may ask us if we really want to spend the rest of our lives with such a "bad person." And it made me sniffle a bit because my twin soul is the FARTHEST thing from an "asshole" but see- when I FEAR him, or worry that he's just hurting me, the mirror will show me that, "Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who is hurting you?" It was almost like "soul sarcasm" in a way. Because me and my soul both know he's not really hurting me and that knowledge is being shown to me through his words. He's showing my my fears that he may be a huge jerk after all, and like this message below states- we have to look past the triggering. We have to know that when we allow it to hurt is it is only ego flaring up. Ego will kick and scream and drag us back into feeling wounded. Oh... I've been there. I read through my old journals and find where I go back and forth between fear and love, lies and truth, screaming ego and heart. I can totally see why I've been separated, how my energy has kept me from him, maintained the road blocks that have not allowed my twin soul to come back to me.
I am now trying to stay fully out of ego. I feel like I know truth. He loves me and he's my very strong twin soul who knows everything about me, and in our union silence plays a large part in pushing me to clear and see truth. When he does come forward he shows me my ego. He also shows me love... just enough to let me know to hang in there. To trust in him. To believe in us. I really am doing the best I can right now to totally trust and stay in love. And one day when I have lots of love in me and little fear or ego- then he can show me that balance. He can show me love. So this is what I work towards, him showing me TRUTH which is love. But I have to trust truth first. I must believe in the TRUTH, and truth for me is the man who sat at my dining room table and bowed his head before eating the meal I'd cooked for us. An Atheist, he softly said to me, "Do you want to say grace? You can go ahead and say thanks to God if you want... if you don't mind though I'll just thank you for the food." He said it with a gentle smile, very understanding and respectful. So sweet and dear, thoughtful. The epitome of of thoughtfulness, grace, love and Light. THAT is my truth, and I am fighting for it. I refuse to let fear kill my truth about James, no matter how long it takes me to hold on and own that truth for good.
I've always said that if he walked in my front door right now, or when he does walk in my front door, and we lock eyes for the first time no apologies will be needed. There will be nothing to forgive. He's doing his part in our union, playing his role in our mission, and I do not fault him for HELPING TO HEAL ME, especially showing me how not to become a raging alcoholic. All I will need to do is be embraced by him and kiss him until we melt into each other and then kiss more. I will need to touch his face and run my hands over his chest and hug him tightly. And kiss some more. And then get naked and have hours of non-stop loving and kissing... that's all I want with my twin soul. Love. Maybe some pillow talk, even science pillow talk. Nothing less.
I believe her words here, totally. "Trust your heart for soon you will be where you've always wanted to be... in the arms of your Beloved Twin Flame." I know that as long as I trust and believe, hold on and know truth, and LOVE him fully- then one day I will bring him back to me.
Twin Message: Twin Flame Purpose
We are at a quantum leap now; all of the old attachments between TWIN Flames are being cleared away, which means that both remember their purpose of re-uniting ..
When we know that things are moving closer, that the Reunion is closer now than ever before - our ego will try to hold us back in fear, telling us the story of how cruel, insensitive and harsh the other one has treated us - and do you really want to spend the rest of your life with such a "bad person"....
Here it is important to stay centered in the Soul Vibration and not go for the lead of ego - for ego will lead us backwards, while Soul will give us the progress we searched for so long.
There may be some days of being vulnerable, feeling hurt by the actions of the other one, losing faith in the relationship - know that this is temporary and shall pass, it is just a clearing of the lower ego, which we no longer need in our lives.
Therefore it is important to Trust - in spite of what the past has shown you - in spite of all odds in the outer world - Trust your Heart, for soon you will be where you always wanted to be..
in the arms of your Beloved TWIN Flame.
Notice, that there is nothing to forgive, because everything has happened due to mutual agreement before incarnation to liberate each other and live in the vibration of freedom, that Pure LOVE always offers ...
With Love & Light,
Birgit
March 16, 2015
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