"Because I have realized that..no matter where you are or what are you doing or who you are with I will always honestly, truly, completely, love you."
My heart echoes those words.
I still miss you.
I still want to talk to you again.
I still remember the friendly man I met and spent hours talking with. I remember our very first conversation very well actually. You asked me for my phone number and we were texting and then you asked me to call you, and I did. And when I first heard the sound of your sweetly adorable voice I had butterflies the size of dinosaurs rushing around inside me. We talked for so long. You were so intelligent and stimulating to speak with. I fell in love with you then.
I miss you. So much. I miss my friend. You were my friend and I miss my friend.
There are no hard feelings. I am so tired. We... meant a lot to each other and I've never gotten over losing you like I did. So much has healed inside of me but I'll never fully come to terms with how we separated because it was not normal. I am a smart strong woman and I know reality. I know what truth is and I know when two people fall in love as deeply as we did that love doesn't just disappear. It hurts to be torn away from someone you've fallen in love with, someone you've become so attached to. Someone who makes your heart soar and your spirit sing! You did that for me. Every moment I spent with you was beautiful. I looked forward to every word I heard from you, every conversation we shared, every kiss we enjoyed together. I loved being in your arms. I loved hearing your voice. I loved seeing you smile. I loved hearing you knock at my door so I could see you standing there, smiling and adorable.
I fucking miss you so much.
Life is different for both of us I'm sure. But that doesn't mean I don't think about you or remember you or still love you, and I for sure miss you. I miss you even more now as a friend than a lover. You were funny and sweet, and you were so kind and respectful to me. It breaks my heart. I can't get over it. I can't stop loving you. It hits me when I see a bright clear night sky with lots of stars. And who can escape the sky?
My life is happy. Great changes have happened for me. My son is SO wonderful- the most wonderful little boy ever; I'm so blessed. I have tons of love in my life. I love my life, and I am thankful for all that I have. But I still miss you. I can't help it! I wish I could know you again. No matter how happy life is... I still have this ache in my heart for you.
It should be different between us. We should be friends. We should talk.
I hope life is happy for you too. I want only goodness for you.
But I miss you, dearly.
I wish I could see your sweet smiley beautiful face again.
I wish I could hug you.
I wish I could see you smile at me and hear you say hello.
I wish I could feel you wrap your arms around me and hold me.
I wish I could tell you I love you and I always will, no matter what.
I wish I could look into your bright blue eyes and again know the amazingly loving, kind, respectful and gentle friend I met what feels like yesterday but has been too long.
It doesn't matter to me what my life or your life is like right now, like the quote above- I know I will always love you. You are still the only man I want calling me honey.
Jennifer
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