Brave

Brave.  A long time ago my twin soul and I were sharing videos an I sent this one to him.  He told me it was the best one I shared with him, that he loved the message to it.  And I think that was a message to me, for the future- to be BRAVE.  James knew what was coming.  He knew darkness would fall over me, and he tried his best to prepare me.  He also did his darnedest to show me huge huge amounts of love so I would accept that love instead of inwardly rejecting it which, in the end, caused him to have to leave me.  And I know he did not want to leave, and I know my poor twin soul is out there mourning being separated from me just like I am missing him.

Brave.  Being brave in my situation means holding on to my truth and not allowing fear to take over my thoughts or kill my truth.  And it can be a battle but I am being brave.  It has been a long road already, a year and a half of separation is a good long time, and much of it has been scary.  But I am here.  I am in this to win this, and I am not stopping.  I will not let fear kill my love or my future.

Brave.  The other day while in the midst of a really difficult week I went to grab an old book off my shelf to share with my friend who lives with me.  In it was a fortune cookie message that has been sitting there gathering dust for ages, way longer than I can remember.  Maybe even since before I met my twin soul.  I pulled it out and read it.

"Don't stop now."

Come on... it can't be any more in my face that I need to keep moving forward, keep working at holding on to TRUTH.  Be brave, just like this song says.  This fucking song has followed me for YEARS now and I understand why: because I have to hold on to my TRUTH.  My truth.  Not fear.  When I let fear take over then my twin soul HAS to mirror that fear back to me and it sucks for both of us and I am TIRED OF THE FEAR.  I know it is not real but it is... I am just ready to have love and truth back in my life, not fear.

Brave.  This is what happens when I lose my truth- my twin soul must show me lies.  Lies=the opposite of truth.  Do you understand?  So when I allow FEAR, which is non-truth, to take over my thinking then my twin soul must show me those lies, and the suck.  The lies and fear SUCK.  So I MUST hold on to my TRUTH.  I have to be brave.  And so do you.  For anyone going through this you have to hold on to TRUTH so only truth can be given back to you, and truth is always love.  Just remember that the truth is always love.  Fear is lies and truth is love.

My apologies in advance but this will be my last blog post for a while.  I have nothing more left to say right now.  I have to be brave and that is all about me going inner now.  I am still journaling, creating "the right words" as my guidance says.  Journaling allows me to go back and see what I was feeling and how it is reflected through either the silence of the mirroring.  And listen- it seems a little hairy right now but I am looking forward and having faith that this is a Divine connection.  He will always be there for me, and it is up to me to bring us back together through truth.  And that is my priority in this life.  That and being a good mother, and a loving person.  I have the loving mother and good person down already.

I refuse to continue to create for myself a self-inflicted Hell on earth where I keep myself separated from the love of my life, and he separated from me.  He's given me every sign throughout this journey that he loves me and is aching to be back with me, despite all the shit he is forced to show me since he is my mirror and has no choice to be that.  And it must really be Hell sometimes being my mirror.  I get to show him love and he has to show me my fears.  James loves my love, always told me that he was so lucky to have found such a strong love, the perfect woman for him, and then he had to walk away and start reflecting to me my fears.  Poor man.  That must be traumatic.  I have got to find a way to stop this so only truth is communicated between us, and our truth is purely love.

Now it is time for me to really be brave.

Best wishes to all.  Let that truth out there in any way you can so only truth {love} can shine back on you.  Don't let the shadow win.  Let that light in, let the words out.  Let that truth out even if it is just to yourself.  Love yourself and if you are a twin soul- love your twin soul, and know he/she loves you too, perfect love.  God's love.

Hugs,

Jennifer

Brave- Sara Bareillis

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do

When they settle ‘neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there,

Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy

Fallen for the fear

And done some disappearing,

Bow down to the mighty

Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence

Won’t do you any good,

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you

See you be brave