Twin Flames and Soul Mates (Do they Exist?) - Teal Swan

A moment to say a prayer reflecting back to that moment years ago where all of our collective hearts were broken on 9/11.  I can only say that is a morning I, along with the rest of the world, will never forget for the rest of my life.  The sadness I felt, and still do, along with millions of other people, I have no words except to say we will always remember, and may our world shift more to love from fear.  That is my wish upon reflection of 9/11.  Love, not fear.

And now for the blog post- Teal's list of "symptoms" of meeting your twin soul or soul mate fit my experience with James so much.  The difficult part right now is she says in this video that we perform at our most optimal when in union with this person, and we often falter when apart.   She states that we do not perform "optimally" when apart from our divine counterpart, and that is so true.  She explains that when together you feel like you can move mountains, and that is also true.  I am one who feels that with a special love in your life, the strong soul mate love of a "romantic" soul connection, life just feels so so so much better.  And quite frankly without it- life can feel pretty shitty sometimes, blessings or not!  I AM thankful for the blessings I have in my life but I cannot control my heart, and my heart HURTS.  Being without my love in my life makes life... less.  Just less.  Not as enjoyable, not as colorful.  It's like I have to work to be happy whereas when he was in my life joy was overflowing from me.  I can't help how I feel.  It just is.  Life feels less colorful, less bright, less enjoyable without my love in my life.  Not all the money in the world, not all the trips, the "stuff" or the other types of relationships or love {like with my child or with my friends} can change that reality for me.

She explains that when apart it feels like a high-powered magnet that is kept apart, that pull pull pull feeling.  She says that being apart from this soul connection is very painful, and it is.  I am not trying to concentrate on my pain or share my pain or be a whiner but my GOD the ache I feel right now is horrendous.  I just feel like I need to be with him.  I need him in my life.  He once told me the same.  He said, "I need you.  I need you in my life."

I wish I'd listened to him then, believe in him and his love for me.

But this video, the symptoms she explains are pretty much 100% applicable to what I've experienced with James.  This video has a lot to do with self-love and self-acceptance, and I've probably posted it before but I am posting it again because I can :)  And for anyone new who may need to find it.  I think it is a good simple video about twin souls and soul mates.  Her explanation about meeting people before meeting the twin is common, and I had that experience.  I met soul mates before James, and yes they felt similar.  Yet he is the one I am left longing for.  Only him.  He is the one I can't move on from.  He is the one the song was for, my song about a past lover who cannot be let go, who cannot be replaced.  He is that one.  I suppose it is the workings of my soul which makes it so, and I can't really fight against it because the love I feel for him is too strong to overcome.

He is my perfect fit.

The name of this file I downloaded for this picture is simply called "11."

I've never felt more complete in my life than two years ago right now.  Two years ago I was getting to know this sweet wonderful new boyfriend, this angel who walked into my life and turned it upside down with love.  Adorable, strong, intelligent, loving, kind, compassionate, genuine, honest, trustworthy, faithful, committed, adoring... my sweetheart.  Those were the best weeks of  my life!  The best weeks of my ENTIRE life!  I have never, in my entire time on earth, been happier than I was when I was James' girlfriend.  His presence in my life was a huge gift, only comparable to me having my son.  I love him like I love my son only I've had my son in my life physically longer.  His love for me was soooo perfect.  Like heaven.  Like I've said before and will say again, ad nauseum, he was like loving an angel.  And here is the thing: I used to talk about his Atheism, and my "belief."  And none of that matters to me now, none of it.  I mean I love his passion for what he loves, his science and his golf and all the rest but the only thing that matters to me is OUR LOVE.  I so wrongly assumed that we needed to discuss this and that and I really did define him in certain ways but now all I define him as is "My love who I need back in my life nearly as much as I need air because without him I sometimes feel like I cannot breathe."

Oh... my God.  I never knew love like this even existed, and I have to think that most people do not feel love to this extent.  It can't be normal even if it all I know now.   

I don't feel complete without him.  It's that high-powered love magnet affect... pulling, always pulling.

I pray for the day when it pulls him right back to me.

Love, not fear.

Photograph Ed Sheeran