When you love someone you crave having that person near you. And when you are desperately IN LOVE with that special wonderful amazing person... it feels like Hell being apart.
I'm still in love with you. Yes I've been afraid. This has been scary and sad. But through it all I've always known the truth about you, that you are still the James I knew. Sweet, generous, thoughtful, caring, kind, friendly, loving, gentle, patient, respectful, silly and affectionate. An angel. You were amazingly good to me. Completely loving and kind. It is all I can think about. Your goodness. It makes me cry. I miss you and your perfect love. And sweet gentle kisses. I really really miss your kisses.
It must be unconditional love because despite everything- I'm still fully madly deeply in love with you. And you are all I want.
Which makes it unbelievably painful being away from you with no contact. My heart yearns for you.
I wish you were here with me. Together. Forever.
I'll always love you.
I can see from your whole blog you're in quite a lot of pain. I imagine you have many friends, advisers, much support, and so on. But, I'm going through something similar, if you care to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteHello. Yes I ache. I miss him and it hurts a lot and I'm feeling very hopeless about it right now. When you have no contact for a year it doesn't feel good. I don't have advisors. I rarely speak of this in my "real life." Lately I stay quiet and ache alone. It is honestly really horrible. I feel miserable. I don't seem that way to others because I hide it or stay busy but inside I'm dying. I miss him so much and I can't believe that a love so beautiful and strong turned into this. It is very upsetting to me because what we shared was real and good. I ache so bad that my chest hurts. I don't know how to manage my pain. It is horrid and worse I feel so alone.
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