Miss His Kisses

I don't have much to say, really.

I miss him.  So much.  I know he is my twin soul and always with me, helping me in spirit.  I really do believe that, and knowing him has changed me so much.

But I miss him.  I don't have much more than that for now.  I love him so much, and what we share together is divinely perfect.  I am whole and independent on my own.  I am so far from co-dependent that it isn't even funny but still I MISS my love.  A lot.  On every level.  In every cell of my body.

I do remember our kisses.  They are amazing kisses where our souls met somewhere in some other plane of existence and rejoiced together while our eyes were gently shut and our lips passionately kissing.  For hours.  And hours.  I love how safe I feel with him.  Like heaven is right there in his arms, being kissed by him.  I ache to kiss him again.

I know I know.  People say it's about finding God.  Learning mission.  Overcoming the pain of separation.  Being strong.  Having patience and the list goes on and on.  What I feel for this man far surpasses "just" romantic love.  Far far far surpasses it.

I am...

Independent.
In love with Spirit.
Listening.
Quieting.
Loving myself.
Loving others.
Loving my twin soul.
Patient.
Kind.
Lacking judgment as much as possible.
Growing fearless.
Increasingly calm.
Non-reactive.
So so loving.
Knowing my worth.
Remembering who I REALLY am.
Owning my power.
Thankful to my Higher Self.
Counting my blessings.
Aware.
Ascending.
Becoming Enlightened.
Helping others.
Helping myself.
Overcoming my vices.
Finding myself.
Faithful to my mission, faithful to myself, faithful to my twin soul.
Dedicated.
Committed.

He is...

Perfect in my eyes.
Perfect in God's eyes.

'Nuff said.

I AM going through the transformational process that twin souls bring to us.  I know I am.  I have not ran from it.  I've tried my best to face it head on.  And here I am.  I have stripped away a lot, and each time a new layer falls away I find myself faced with this raw overwhelming love for Joron.  I remember more and more who he really is, and it is yanking on my heart strings strongly.  So for now all I can really say is "I adore him."  I know he loves me.  I do believe.  He aches to be back with me, in my life.  I am increasing my self love and decreasing my self-judgment too but my GOD I love this man.  I just love him.  Love. Him.

I can remember how he'd sit on my couch after coming in, handing me some thoughtful generous gift, and hugging me.  I'd watch him bound up my stairs with butterflies in my belly.  I loved him so much already.  I sensed his perfection and my soul knew what he meant to me even if my brain did not quite get it.  It did not register.  All I felt was ecstasy being with him, anticipation in seeing him.  Love.  All I felt was love when he was on his way over, and then in my arms.

He'd hug me, smile, say hello.  His sweet gentle sexy... GAWD is his voice sexy... voice making me melt.  And we'd go sit down and chat for a few minutes.  "So how was your day?"  And after a few short minutes of chit chat he'd smile that knowing grin, reach out to touch my face and guide my mouth to his to kisssssssss me.  And kiss me.  And I lost myself in those kisses.  Time stood still.  Worries flew out the window.  The world ceased to exists outside that couch.  Outside our embrace.  His kisses are bliss, magic, peace, love, heaven.  Heaven.  Perfectly heavenly.

Here is the thing about that kissing.  Our kisses.  It is not wanton.  They were not "foreplay" kisses.  No.  They were... heaven in a kiss.  He would just relish being in my presence, my nearness, kissing me.  He got nothing out of it but loving me.  Adoring me.  Allowing me to adore him.  It was just this pure loving kind melty wonderful passionate caring exchange of innocent, pure and genuine love.  Taking the time after a long day of work and driving home from the city to drive to my house, bring me gifts, sit on my couch and indulge me in kisses for hours.  His kisses are like a full-body massage.  For hours.  A blessing.  He is so wonderful.  He so loves me.  So so so so loves me.

I miss him!  I do.  I know you can tell.  I miss him and there is nothing I can do about it.  *shrugs*

What a gift.  A. Gift, him.  His kisses.  His LOVE.

Perfect love.  Perfect love.  Two human beings bound in perfect love.

Those kisses are truth.  Those kisses tell me that he loves me, adores me, and wants to kiss me forever.  We will be together in all ways.  We will reunite.  I won't give up until we do and you can translate that to whatever you will.  Those kisses are magnetic and the power of their memory will bring us together.  I can close my eyes and feel those kisses again.  Just the right amount of intensity but mainly gentleness.  Luxurious.  Loving.  So loving.  I could and will kiss Joron forever.

I miss him.  I miss his kisses.  I love him so much.

And that's all I got for now.

God... I never knew a heart could feel this way.  I know what real love feels like.