You know, part of the reason why I've kept this blog is because I wanted to help other people who might be going through the same thing as me or something similar to me. Then other times I write my own stuff, just how I feel, because it helps me.
That said, for those people who stumble upon my blog I want to issue a reminder about some points I've learned throughout my journey. What I've learned is much different that what is taught on a lot of websites, and I WISH with all my might I would have stopped doubting and being scared a long time ago. I wish I would have totally believed in the fact that he is my MIRROR and in being my mirror there are times when he will present as cold, ambivalent, dismissive, rejecting and even cruel. Yes, he has even presented as being cruel. But that is not who is really is. His truth is that he is kind, loving and good and I wish I would have been strong enough back then to hold tight to that truth but I didn't. I guess I was just too scared to do so. And it's created a longer separation.
Do not believe when you read that twin souls will only show kindness and love. They FEEL kindness and love, I really do believe this, but since they work as a mirror they must reflect back to use whatever we are feeling. I've explained this before on my blog so let me highlight it here: I believe the feminine energy is the "creator" and manifestor of this union and the male energy is the "creation" or the manifestation of what the female is creating through her thoughts, beliefs, intentions, words written or spoken, and pretty much anything that runs through her brain. This is why the majority of twins who go "quiet" are men and the twins who are left wondering "WTF just happened" are female. And the females are the ones who are "kept in the know" about the connection while the men stay quiet. I don't think this is because the men "don't get it" or anything like that. It is all spiritual, all orchestrated by the female's energy. The men will not admit to the connection if they are not meant to.
Yes occasionally a man is the one "left behind" and I think this is because he holds the majority of the feminine "creator" energy so he plays the part of the manifestor. Same for homosexual twin souls. One will house primarily the feminine energy and be the one who seems to be "in the know" and the other will house the male energy and be the one who "shuts off" or goes quiet.
This "separation" has NOTHING to do with the man being unable to handle his emotions or getting scared and running off. Nothing to do with it although it can appear that way and he may even tell you that he is scared or can't handle it or whatever. That is because twin souls will say anything they need to in order to mirror what you think inside. So if you are thinking, "He's running from his emotions" then he will show you he is running from his emotions.
If you are scared that a man won't ever commit to you or choose you or stay with you and then you meet your twin and still have these fears despite a loving relationship then your twin WILL one day reflect your fears to you by distancing or going quiet or up and moving hundreds of miles away. This is because your twin basically becomes the manifestation of your fears. And this is to force you to let go of those fears.
You can get your twin back. But in order to do so you have to shift your thinking around entirely. You must believe in yourself, your worth and your loveability. You must believe in your twin soul, in his genuinely good loving character {despite whatever he shows you about yourself and despite how badly it might hurt or be scary} and you must believe in how he feels about you, how he loves you. If you believe your twin is just rejecting and ignoring you then he will show you that he is only rejecting and ignoring you.
Be so so aware and careful of every WORD you speak and write because you are manifesting with every word you speak and write. Writing, for some reason, holds magical energy in these unions and often what you write can and will come to pass. It's like you are Harry Potter writing out a spell simply by posting on a twin soul forum or sending an email to your friend about your twin. Any thought you have can be reflected back to you too, and when you have that one-sided "imaginarty" conversation in your head with your twin be very careful because he does hear you, and sometimes he will show you that he hears you.
So if you feel anger and resentment for being left or rejected, clear that shit up right now because it will only force your twin to show you it even more. And I know they don't like it.
I feel like all of our twins are out there secretly wishing we'd just believe in them so they could be their loving selves to us again instead of acting like mean assholes towards us. I really do believe this. I feel like here they are these loving people yet they must reflect us so they have to mirror whatever our main energy is concerning them.
This is very specific between us and them. I don't believe your twin is going to reflect that you need to get a better grip on your finances. No, your twin is only going to show you what you think about him, and what you think he thinks about you. Do you understand? So if you think he is mean then he will act mean. And if you love him but you fear that he does not love you then he will do things that make it appear like he does not love you- because he is reflecting back to you your disbelief in his love.
Best thing you can do is just start believing in your twin and his love for you. Know you are SO loveable and he loves you. Know that behind the illusion, behind the fucking "act" they have to show us as our mirrors, are these wonderfully loving men who only want to show us their love and be back with us. So use your thoughts, energy, intention, belief and words wisely and with love for yourself and your twin. It's pretty much as simple as that although it's the most challenging "simple" ever. But it's not chakras and Blue Rays and channeled messages. It is simply believing in your twin, believing he is a good wonderful person, focusing on that love, and believing in his love for you.
Love begets more love. Belief in the right stuff creates more of the right stuff. So focus on love. Focus on what you want more of in your life. You have to focus on TRUTH instead of fear because if you focus on fear then your twin will lie to you and show you someone he is not- because he won't be able to be truth, do you see? And his truth is always love. So focus on truth, believe in truth. If you spent loving quality time with your twin then focus on those memories because you create more of the same. You are focusing on truth. Do not believe people when they tell you not to "live in the past" by remembering. Remembering is imagining and dreaming and that is okay. Be strong. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. But fuck it- go on and love your twin. WANT him back with you more than anything if that's what you feel. I will be totally honest with y'all, besides my son James is the most important part of my life. Having him back with me is my goal in life for my own personal happiness. It is all I want in my life besides my son's health, safety and happiness. James. He is it. I don't buy into this stuff about how we can't make them a priority, etc. etc. I believe we are meant to make them an energetic priority by loving them from afar and believing in them. They have sacrificed for us by being our twins. They have walked away from a love they never wanted to walk away from in leaving us. I do believe these people have ONLY wanted to be close to us, only wanted to love us and cherish us yet they are forced to do otherwise, as our full spiritual mirrors. So love them for their sacrifice. Love them for being the one who has to show you your fears so you can see them and overcome them.
Love them. Actively love them. Make it a practice, a daily effort. Remember they are your mirror. If you try to distract from them or turn away and ignore all of it then the connection with stall because you will be reflected... nothing, because you are not feeling anything or creating anything to do with them. They will not be able to come closer until the universe thrusts them in your face for a moment in an effort to jump start that love energy, that intentional creation of love and belief for them.
I know we hear this is all about "loving ourselves" but take it from someone who knows- this is not the only purpose. We must also love them and defend their truth and trust them. Believe me. I'd bet my life on it.
My friends, the reason why I post this reminder is because I have not overcome fear like I wish I would have. And it's put me in a place with my twin where I don't want to be. If I could go back to a year ago I would have done some things differently and the BIGGEST one would have been I would believed in the "real" him 100% instead of being scared of the "fear mirror." Being scared of the fear mirror keeps it going... and going... and going. And that sucks. It's creating my own Hell. I wish I would have focused every day, multiple times a day, on meditating on my twin and his goodness so he could have shown me that goodness again.
All I really have now is faith. Faith that he loves me. Faith that since he's my one and only twin soul connection that when the energy on my end becomes more only love and no fear, only belief and no doubt, knowing TRUTH and nothing less that he can one day come back to me. It's all I have. Had I believed in all I've written here and on my blog then we might be together right now.
So please read my words and take them to heart.
I love James so much and I miss him with all my heart. All I want in this life for myself is to have him with me, sharing life with me. I'd give anything to talk to him again, to hear him say, "I love you honey," with his soft little smile and sexy sweet voice. I am so in love with him and honestly I feel somewhat emotionally lost without him. That's me being honest. My life would be way more complete with him here with me, more colorful, more happy. Blissful. I miss my Love and I want him back with me. We are meant to be together. Our love is still alive. But I long to hold him in my arms and kiss him, like I know he does me. So I pray for that moment with everything I have in me.
Take care and best wishes,
Jennifer
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