For those of you who know me or who have read a lot of my blog you know that I've always felt that these unions are "orchestrated by Spirit." Well I still believe that but in a different way. WE are actually the ones in control through our emotions, thoughts and intentions. Spirit only "creates" what we ask it to. Always keep in mind these are my opinions only, based on my own experiences. For me it's like whatever I think, feel, believe, say, write, etc. my Higher Self makes happen. Not to be mean or anything but because that is the Law of Cause And Effect. It is "You reap what you sow." If I were to plant a fear bean then I am going to cultivate fear but if I plant a love bean then I am going to get love in the end. It makes sense.
So this is what I realize, and I want to try and make this as short and simple as possible. Last year my guidance would tell me things and I would write it all down but I did not entirely understand it. Now that I go back and re-read it I can better understand it. I cannot explain to you how these things happen between twin souls. I think those people who are in twin soul unions are "special" on the inside and different than other people. I do not mean BETTER just different. We have to be. Our twin souls have to be different. Last night I was thinking of this, how is this happening? How is he so KNOWING? It's as if he knows about all this, like he knows my thoughts and he knows what's happening between us. And this song started playing that I've never heard before. It is called "I'm Your Angel." And I thought- you know what? Maybe he really is my angel, for real. He's not just some "normal" unenlightened human being. Not at all.
That said, my guidance used to talk to me about my DESTINY. One of the first things my love ever said to me was that he "held out for his destiny to be born before him" because I was born hours before he was. Soon after we began dating he started speaking my very dreams. I fell in love with him and he started talking about getting married and sharing a future together, and it was EVERYTHING I ever dreamed about. A wonderful man in my life. A dear man to be full-time in my son's life. A sweet gentle man who understood me and appreciated me. James is my every wish come true. My dreams walking around in the form of a man, here on earth. And it scared the shit out of me. I just knew he'd get tired of me. The novelty of me would wear off. I was so afraid he'd still want to move to California and I would not be able to go with him, and that he'd not choose me. I was afraid he'd stop loving me, or not love me enough EVEN THOUGH he was *constantly* telling me how much he loved me,.. and he'd stress "I sure hope you accept my love. I REALLY love you!" He'd say he wanted to lay next to me every night forever and make love to me every night. He'd say "When you are my wife I'll want to make love to you every night, is that okay?" Oh. My. God. he's the epitome of my dreams come true.
But I used to ask him, "What if? What if you stop loving me?" I once said in response to him oozing his love all over the page for me in an email that yeah that was all find and good but what happens one day when he changes his mind and says... well the words I wrote out to him in that email, months later he repeated them to me almost verbatim. Fear sucks.
I refused to totally believe in his love for me. And it all fell apart before my very eyes, for no good 3D reason. The separation began and suddenly it was like he no longer wanted to choose me. Like he changed his mind although he never came right out and said it.
And my guidance would tell me these things that I did not understand! They would tell me to "defend my dreams" by BELIEVING in my "gentle gem" and his love for me. They told me I was KILLING MY DESTINY by not paying attention to the love and goodness. Instead I paid more attention to the mirroring and my fears than I did to the love he had always showed me. I began to feel like that love was not truth, and that is a bad BAD thing when it comes to a twin soul union. If you do not believe in the love then I don't think you will ever reunite. We MUST believe in the love.
So what would happen is when I did not believe in him or his love for me I would actually PUSH my destiny farther from me. I'd keep it away from me, and this was clearly shown to me through my twin soul. The more I would feel like he was mean, or ignoring me, or being cold and harsh and Id wonder WHY WHY WHY- the more he'd show me "I'm not choosing a future with you."
And why would he do that? Because they truly are our fucking MIRRORS, okay? So for those of you who truly want to reunite, let go of all the 3D bullshit and quit reading most of the shit on the 'Net about twin souls. That the runners run due to being full of their own fears and inability to commit is just not true. They are showing us our fears about love. When we do not believe then they are forced farther from us. They will show us "I am not choosing you" and it's all FAKE. An illusion.
Belief. My guidance told me the way to defend my dreams is in believing in the love he has for me. Very clearly one valuable piece of information my guidance once gave me is this: "Gel nonsense not. Only coming together if paying attention to kisses, not nonsense." Allow me to translate for you. The "nonsense" is the mirroring. When I get weirdness from him it is "nonsense" and the opposite of truth which is love. When I do not defend the truth, LOVE, then I get the opposite which is the "nonsense." So my guidance means that I am not supposed to put any attention towards the nonsense or believe it at all. I must pay attention to the LOVE he showed me. Those kisses we shared were truth. Only when I put more attention towards the love and I forget the nonsense, that is when he can come back to me. Only then. Because it IS manifestation, and where ever we place our energy and attention is what comes back to us. I am defending my destiny when I concentrate on the love and kisses and truth which is that he loves me and wants a future with me.
If I believe doubt and fear then I am NOT defending his love for me and I push my Destiny {my happy future with him} farther from me and I am actively shown this through him. It's like he's forced to move in the opposite direction and tell me about it so I can see it.
I am only writing this out to share with those who want to hear it. Most twin souls out there are still hung up on "He's treating me like crap, just ignores me and is an idiot," and they cannot be shown until they are ready to hear, and it can take a long time. It's taken me a long time to finally REALLY begin to see and believe the truth, and the truth is my fear and doubt pushed my love from me. It's like God reached out to hand me James and said, "Here is my gift to you, this sweet wonderful man who loves you fully," and as bad as I wanted it and loved him, it is like I am the one who turned and walked away in disbelief. Like I was turning away from believing in my Destiny. And not many can see that or accept it.
I love this man, He is a good man and I know he loves me. As I was thinking about all of this this morning a song began playing. "Never My Love."
"You ask me if there'll come a time
When I grow tired of you
Never my love
Never my love
You wonder if this heart of mine
Will lose its desire for you
Never my love
Never my love
What makes you think love will end
When you know that my whole life depends
On you (on you)
Never my love
Never my love
You say you fear I'll change my mind
And I won't require you
Never my love
Never my love
How can you think love will end
When I've asked you to spend your whole life
With me"
He did ask me. My James. He asked me to spend my whole life with him.
Believe.
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