Oh. My. God. Intention & Manifestation

Well did I have a wake up call today.  Holy shit.  I was thinking about Joron, I know when am I not, and I wanted to go back and look at our old emails from when we were dating.  I don't have them all- I deleted some when we argued that one time and I was afraid he wasn't coming back so I rashly erased all of his loving words to me, all of our "getting to know you."  UGH.  I wish I had all of them to "recreate" who he is to me, to bring him closer, but they are gone.  Luckily his memory resides in my heart, shining and bright.  The ones I do have, though, are choice and priceless.  They were... he is, was, and always will be my perfection, my angel, my Prince.

The day before he left was very telling.  Spirit had it all planned.  He professed his undying love to me all day long.  He asked if we would be together forever in heaven, said he wanted to be with me for eternity.  He wrote things like "I REALLY love you I hope you realize.  I want you to accept my love.  I want to be with you forever."  Yet I doubted.  He showered me with the love and affection I deserved.  He told me repeatedly "I appreciate you."  He is heaven on earth for me, and he will be back in my life soon.

I wrote him a long message on the morning of October 1st, and this is where you need to pay close attention.  I told him all my worries, about how he might forget me, choose his science over me, decide this was not worth it, etc. etc.  I wrote words that when I read them today- I want to cry.  I created my own future.  I wrote to him that I was afraid one day he might up and say to me, "I'm so sorry.  I thought I could do this but I just can't because of _____________."

Well guess what?  THOSE WERE HIS EXACT WORDS NEARLY A YEAR LATER IN HIS LAST MESSAGE TO ME.  No fucking joke.  Exactly.  I WROTE them as one of my fears, and it came to slap me in the face.  He also tussled with me before, during this separation, about his science, made me feel like he was pushing me off for his science- load of fearful bullshit that I created MYSELF.  MYSELF.  He was also on a plane to CA that very day that I sent him all of my doubts.  Coincidence?  I think not. 

I wish everyone who is in a twin soul/twin flame/strong soul mate union would read this.  YOU ARE CREATING YOUR OWN REALITY WITH YOUR WORDS, THOUGHTS AND INTENTIONS.  What you think about most, dwell on, worry about: it becomes your truth.  I've lectured on this before.  I find my own advice hard to follow- I know.  I am not trying to tell you I am perfect but you are not.  This is something I am struggling with too but I have a plan.

That is proof right there.  I am not kidding.  Something told me to go look back at those message today.  I needed to see that correlation- I KNOW these weird messages I get from him are not the man I dated.  They do not "feel" like him.  My sweet love is always loving, kind, light and adorable.  He likes to write with a flow, paragraphs, good grammar.  These messages I get through him are stilted, cold, choppy, forced: they feel fake.  Foreign.  They are Spirit very cleverly working through him to ensure I see the cause and effect of my energy.  Ugh.  I have some work cut out for me!

Short and sweet.  Whatever you are saying, writing and thinking is becoming real.  Be careful.  "Choose your words wisely" never meant so much as it does now.