My Love for You Is Never-Ending

Well spring is here, well kind of in the Midwest.  It's cold today but we had a nice Easter day which was great for the kids to go out and play.  My son, oh my dear child, he did the sweetest thing yesterday.  My whole family {not me though} is Catholic and we always pray before our meals.  She asked for someone to say grace and he, at six years-old, raised his hand and thanked God for the food.  She added some extra words and then my son wanted to say one more thing.  Very vehemently he thanked God for protecting all of the people in the bus that turned over because no one died.  My little sweetie.  My child and I don't go to church and he knows nothing of the "Christ died for our sins but then rose again from the dead" stuff but he does know that God is love, per his own words and knowing.  For us Easter is about blessings, yes, but mostly about The Easter Bunny and spending time sharing a good meal with our family!  And that is fine.  We often give thanks for what we have, and giving thanks and being grateful is the most important part anyway.

James met my mother's side of the family when he agreed to attend a family cookout with me, and I had a wonderful time with him that day.  He spent the day with me, PJ and my family and it is one of my most favorite memories ever.  I think I've said that most of my best memories were from those few weeks we spent together.  But I've always wished he could meet my father's side of the family.  They would love James so much, and they'd be so happy to see me with such a kind, thoughtful, respectful, loving and caring man.  They'd really appreciate him.  So every holiday that passes I always wish he was with us.  I wish he was coming along with us to spend family time together.  He'd love my family as well.  I have a large, fun and loving family.  I'm highly blessed in that regard.  And all they want is for me to be happy, and I was happy with James.  I loved being with him and I am really sad without him.

I wish he was back with me.  I love him dearly and miss him more than I, the wordsmith, can properly find words to express. That is about all I can say.  I do totally believe 110% what I write here.  And really there is nothing left to share except to write about the great times I shared with him, and if you've read my blog then you've already seen that stuff before.  Yes my love for him is never-ending and yes I do believe he loves me but is my full spiritual mirror who reflects back to me what I am feeling.  So I am working on what I think, speak and write in the hopes that one day he can reflect only truth back to me, nothing less.  And his truth is only love and kindness.  I remember James and I know who he is, goodness and love.  I will not second guess him, and I will not question my own truth and beliefs.

The silence is difficult to handle yet I know it's not his intention.  I feel that he'd love to speak to me again.  Even so being away from my love and not being able to talk "in person" with my sweet dear friend is kicking the shit out of my heart.  So please have compassion for me or any other twin soul you may meet upon your own journey, and have compassion for yourselves and your twin souls.  I think they go through a lot too; I really do- even though they can't really show us due to that pesky "being our mirrors" part of the equation.

Blessings to all and much love to my sweet lovely twin soul.  I hope to shift this soon, my Love.  To me you are always a gift and a treasure. 

Jennifer