Now

I can't blog right now. I don't have much to say here. My focus needs to be private at this time. I love James and miss him but it is difficult realising I'm the one who has perpetuated all of what I don't like. I see what I have done that has kept him away. And then I just keep missing him. And what is the use of writing that here? No use. Best thing I can do is energy management which I have to practice alone.

The challenge for me is I do miss James and I don't like the silence. Knowing what a wonderful man he is makes me miss him even more. I want to know him again, his loving kind self. But in order to know him again I guess I have to work through the silence yet being away from him makes me sad. So my life can be very happy but inside I'm still sad because I miss him. It is a big jumble of emotions I am trying to keep balanced. I miss him so much. All I wish and pray for and work towards in my energy is to know James like I did when I met him.

I hope all is well with anyone who might be reading my blog. Enjoy the final days of summer.

Jennifer