Your Words Create Your Worlds
A big thank you to one of my blog readers who sent me a video from this guy above. I saw this other video of his and it was a good reminder for me to keep my mouth shut more often. To be quiet. I don't do quiet well. I talk a lot. I also like my still quiet time though, like walking in nature, etc. But I should be more quiet. It is another strong reminder for me to watch my words. I am getting better but am far from perfect. I think the old adage "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all" is even better advice than many of us ever realized. My new goal is if I can't say something nice about a person or situation then I will keep my mouth shut.
Great video, thank you Matthew for sending me the other. I accidentally deleted your blog comment so I lost the other video and the comment but thanks for sharing it.
I still catch myself saying shitty stuff about other people or situations and I am working daily to practice what this man is teaching here in this video. Being very mindful of my words because when I speak badly about someone else I am actually bringing harm to that person energetically. I am beginning to believe that if I were to continuously say something bad about a person like, "He is such an immature jerk" then I have the power to make that person continue to behave like an immature jerk. Sounds unbelievable I know but I feel it is our responsibility to be careful of our words and this means sending good energy to others through our words, not bad energy. Again I am not perfect at this at all. I am a work in progress all the time. This has been a lot of trial and error.
But let me tell you, using my boss as an example. Once I started really focusing on what a kind gentle supportive man my boss is {instead of focusing on anything else} I swear to God he started treating me differently. More positive. He and I had hit a rough point but I started writing out his good qualities in my journal, thanking him for being patient with me while I am going through all of this emotional stuff, thanking him for giving me a chance, thanking him for holding on to me, thanking him for being a strong mentor, and realizing that he honestly wants the best for me then I swear he started treating me differently. As a matter of fact the day after I wrote some of this out he came to me and told me he felt we should have a pizza party lunch for the staff because it had been a very long time {notice I am choosing my words here carefully lol} since we had done so. I told him sure that would be great and then I went back to my office, shut my door and privately pondered the possibility that writing about him with goodness the night before allowed him to... reflect it back to us. I'd written that I know he cares for us and that he is a very good man, and he truly is. My boss is one of the most fair and honest people you could ever ask to meet. He is solid, 100%. And he has a quiet gentle temperament that works well with me. I find him to be trustworthy and very fair. I've worked with him for almost 9 years and as goofy as it may sound I feel he is one of my stronger soul mates but like on a mentor level. I think he is a big mirror for me. And again, once I started shifting my focus about him he started acting differently towards me.
I guess that is knowledge I should apply to all aspects of my life and the people in it. I talk shit sometimes. I have on here. And really I know better. I know to "let stuff go" when it happens. If something happens that I don't like I should not give it any energy. Let it go and instead focus on something good.
*sigh* I do know this stuff. Just sometimes practicing it and applying it... you know!
Gosh when it comes to James I figure I should stay pretty quiet about him and this experience, even here on the blog I should probably not say a whole lot. There is not much to say right now that I have not already shared. I adore him. I wish he was here in my life right now. I believe he is out there somewhere loving me and wishing he could be with me and my son. I feel like he actually wanted to stay with us and wishes he could be here now- and I wish with all of my might I could finally "shift" or change whatever I need to in order for him to come back to me. He is my dream come true quite literally. I ordered up the man of my dreams and then James came to me. He is so dear and wonderful and he is exactly the man I had dreamed of being in my life, my gift. A strong mature yet sensitive, loving kind and friendly man who would be good to me and my child both. How could I not totally wish and hope to have him back in my life forever? He is perfect for me, treated me wonderfully and I'd love to experience life with him again. I'd be so happy to have him with us, sharing life with us, sitting quietly on the couch with me while we hold hands, embrace and kiss. Or making love. Or walking hand in hand. Or going shopping together and making dinner and taking PJ to the park or watching PJ's soccer game or going to a festival together or hugging and kissing and saying "I love you" when greeting each other after work. I'd love to be able to look forward to seeing him after work, anticipating going home to see both of my loves. PJ and James both. I dream of taking a vacation with him. Sharing life with him. My GOD that is what I dream of and wish for and what I'd be so happy to experience in my life, James with us. I long to be intimate and close and loving with him again. He was so so so good to me, and he is a doll. I've never met a man before who is so funny, charming, brilliant, open-minded, progressive, aware, passionate, friendly, loving and uber affectionate all rolled into one walking adorable ball of goodness. I am so in love with James. He is unique and special to me. And that really is all I even feel safe sharing here or anywhere. I love him. I'd love for him to be in my life as part of my loving sweet family. I would absolutely love to share more of the sweet loving genuinely loving experiences we did before when we were together. Those good sweet moments and experiences are what I want more of with James. He is love personified for me. Being in his arms feels like... home to me. If I were to visit "heaven" or wherever we go once we are no longer human I can imagine the bliss I'd feel would be very similar to the joy I feel sitting on my couch kissing James for hours.
Take care of yourselves,
Jennifer
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