But then I have this *above* little guy touching my arms or my legs and saying, in total little kid-honesty, "I love your jiggly legs mommy. You are soooo beautiful," and I realize it is a sign from above reminding me to love myself fully despite my self-perceived flaws. I am blessed to have a youthful appearance and I am healthy and happy. That is enough. I do not need to be 3D "perfect." I do not have to see my hip bones to be beautiful. I get thin when I am unhappy and stressed out and when heartache eats me alive, literally. Through my twin soul union I have healed so much that I got my appetite for food {and life} back so I EAT. I enjoy life. I dine out with my child. We get ice cream. I LOVE chocolate!!! So does my son, lol. For three years I did not want to eat. I felt better starving myself. It was unhealthy and I shed those extra twelve pounds that makes me feel SO thin and SO perfectly "beautiful" all from being so sick at heart that I cannot bear to eat more than a few mouthfuls of food. And thin does not equal "perfection."
This body carried, grew, nurtured, birthed, nourished, cuddled and still cuddles this amazing child God blessed me with. It is a beautiful vessel.
My angel mom. *sniff* He called me an angel.
My son says things like this to me All. The. Time. He has blatantly channeled before, to where I cannot {even in my stiffest moments of doubt and disbelief} deny that "something divine" {probably Higher Self} is speaking through him, so I KNOW Spirit speaks through my child to show me that I *am* sweet and beautiful and as my son says, "kindful."
He's also told me before, "James loves you mom. James does love you!" for no reason except that I was thinking hard, contemplating, despairing and he is meant in those moment to remind me and lift me up.
Make sure to listen to the wee ones. They know of what they speak!!! Truth.
I love my little man with all my heart. I look forward to the day when James blesses our lives again so he can experience the love of my son like he is meant to, and my son can again experience James' love. James met my son and loves him too. I know we are all meant to be together as a family.
Your are beaitiful and your little guy is super adorable. The things that come out of our children's (or little ones in our lives) mouth can be profound. Just know that whatever happens you perfect , whole and comppete
ReplyDeleteThank you! You know I am very independent. James came into my life and suddenly something that had been missing my whole life was there with me, in him. HE was with me. So now that he is gone... it's just not "right." I do not feel "complete" without him. Without him something very important and irreplaceable feels missing from around me and inside me. So while I can agree that I am totally perfect as I am right now, life is not complete without him.
ReplyDeleteI love your explanation of how your child is your mirror! I can understand that now with my own child! She has shifted also along side me during the meeting of my twin. I can hear her higherself communicating through her for my own understanding! I love it! From my research and personal experience..you have to achieve your own personal completeness without wanting your twin soul to fill the void. Separation is apart of the divine timing. Anything other than what's happening now is not what it IS. Acceptance and self love will draw him closer. You want him. You need to love yourself and your life to be granted with his amazingly perfect presence. You can miss him. Feel the feelings and let them go. Send him love. Any negative or needy three dimensional expectations keep him away.
ReplyDeleteI don't really have any needy or negative expectations. He TOLD me he wanted to marry me and be a father to a child we create together, and he told me himself he wants to be my son's step=father. So yes that is a "dream" of mine. I do need my twin soul in my life and I am not afraid to say it. I love myself fully. The need for an increase in self-love is not my journey at this point. As I read in a quote the other day: mature love is needing someone because you love him while immature love is loving a person because you need him. I need James in my life because I am soooo in love with him that I find it hard to live without his amazing presence. Yet I make it on my own; I just don't want to be on my own- I want to be with him. NOW. Screw "divine timing." WE are gods- WE are divine timing. We create our own timing. So yes I do love myself and I am not accepting, at all, that he is gone from me right now. But each of our paths are not the same. I don't go by the preaching I read all over the web on twin souls. I go by what is in my heart and that knowledge tells me I NEED him back with me. I miss him and no longer want to be separated. I can achieve the self-love but I cannot achieve the acceptance that he is not here- it's just not going to happen. I have a good life- but it would be all that much better with my Beloved James by my side. Thank you for your kind words.
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