Friday, August 14, 2015

Don't Be Like Me... Don't Run

This is going to be short and to the point.

Don't try to date.  Don't think about dating.  Don't flirt.  Just don't do it.

Have faith.  Believe.  Trust.  If it is one thing I can do it is to stress this since when I don't do it I pay the price for it.  If anything maybe you can avoid it by me telling you- if you doubt and worry and run off it will come back at you.  And I don't want that to happen to you.

I can't write the blog anymore because I'm finding it hard to follow my own guidance.  Please don't think the guidance is wrong.  I don't think it is, at all.  I am just having a hard time getting out of fear, and now it's gotten so huge I don't know what to do.  I don't know how to get out of it.  I have to admit I am scared.  I love him dearly, always will.

Pray for me please.

Thanks,

Jennifer

14 comments:

  1. It's okay if you are having hard time and battling with your fears and trust me "THIS SHALL TOO PASS". Whenever I think that I am done with those fears and boom! they appears again and right on my face until I face it , accept those fears and by doing this it disappears. we need to know that it is a damn hard and confusing process and we are facing our all conscious,unconscious,subconscious fears layer after layer, Please take your time and go inner and if you don't feel blogging anymore then "don't do it". I pray that this process may end soon and we can start a new fearless and happy life forever.

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  2. I will definitely say some extra prayers for you. This is such a tough process to go through, and the fears are real! Thank you for all you've written, and if you need to take a break- totally understandable. Thinking of you!

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  3. Hun remember, this is a natural part of healing. You can see you've healed and gotten to a better place already. Sometimes fears crop up and show themselves. Worse even when we ascribe meaning to them and identify with thoughts. You start wondering...am I waiting for nothing? I feel lonely, can I find someone else? But I won't feel the same? What if I stay alone? And it spirals out of control.

    First sweetie, remember this is a natural part of the process. Kundalini is like a fire, a coil within you. The energy literally rises at the right time, pushing up everything to the surface. Don't resist it. Let it be, love it and live consciously. Don't get caught into a ''secondary'' pattern either. Learn to stop fearing the fear, it breaks the cycle and allows it to be healed faster. Same for sadness, anger, all these nasty emotions you're purging. Remember you're not relapsing, you're purging deeper upon deeper layer of your emotions.

    Second, and I'm going to be completely honest in my view here. You may be clinging too much to the idea of reunion. Yes, you've been asked to ''hold on'' by the other half of you. This is your guidance and I honestly dont think the other half of your soul would lead you astray. Twins are made to reunite after healing, but part of that healing involves the ''surrender''. Surrendering isn't kissing the universes ass, the universe doesn't want to be admired.

    Surrender means to let go of any external circumstances, trust that life is engineering your destiny. By all means, hope for the reunion, hold on to that love and loyalty but stop overthinking into it - your soul will win this battle at the end of the day. YOU, the real you just wants to live authentically. No dating websites, no bullshit. Your soul just wants to find itself in whatever circumstances are presented to it. Focus on your life here and now, heal, get better as a person. Hope for the reunion but make YOURSELF the bigger focus in this. Focusing too much on a reunion works against manifesting it because it creates a dense, desparate energy.

    If you really really love this guy - which I know you do - then focus on yourself, and your life. Don't be hard on yourself for healing. Just learn not to overthink. See what life brings you, who it brings you. If you were destined to date someone else life would've shown you. Don't focus too much on your loyalty to your twin as a decision that could fuck your life up. It's your guidance. Just keep allowing those patterns that need a relationship to feel whole, dissipate in their own time. Live life joyfully and authentically.

    Keep the hopes for reunion in your heart, follow the signs but ultimately focus on yourself and don't focus on the ''how'' and the ''when''. Let the universe do its tricks. Remember what's meant to be, is meant to be. And I really, really do think you are meant for reunion. Whether thats in months, years - whatever. Let go. Let it happen. When your twin tells you to ''Hold On'' all he is asking is don't block your love or be disloyal, because both of these actions are detrimental and actually delay the process of reunion.

    The actual objective is to get you surrendered, healed and reunited as quick as possible. You and your essence have great work to do for the world, a great purpose, apart and together. <3

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  4. Also, surrender involves surrendering the ego to the soul.

    Your soul wants to stay loyal and work within towards reunion. Don't listen to fear. Fear is ego. What else other than fear or pain makes you want to date someone else? The ego is full of limits and illusions. It won't lead you anywhere and you've seen that in your previous experiences. Do what your soul wants, because your soul is what you really are. And deep down, beneath all that dimensional wiring keeping your consciousness attuned into the physical plane - your Soul knows exactly what it needs to do. That's evident from how its purged and reintegrated your being so much already. <3

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  5. Thanks to all of your for your kind thoughts :) I am one who believes it is I who create divine timing and I who manifest my destiny. Life does not create it for me neither does the universe. My Higher Self created my destiny and it is up to me to fulfill it by believing in truth and love. I am not one who believes something outside of myself is in control of divine timing. That thinking may not resonate with many but it is my belief. I definitely see the opposite take place in my life- I manifest pushing my destiny away from me so I know I can manifest bringing it closer when I finally get past my fear and doubt and stay in belief. So yes I do agree, fear needs to be ignored and love believed... and that is what I am working on!!! I honestly don't want to date anyone else. I was being fearful stubborn and, frankly, stupid. No one could ever compare to James and he is the one I want as my future, and I believe he wants me as his future too so I will not do this, turn away, again.

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  6. That's all well and good, but Rose remember other laws are at work in manifestation^^ That's how synchronicity occurs for you, the ''signs'' and ''coincidences'' are manifested by your spirit guides and/or the result of manifestation by the unified consciousness of this entire universe. Everything happens for a reason. You CO-CREATE. When you surrender to the process of life fully, allow the healing to occur naturally (as inner work only facilitates awakening) you get to a point where being whole and joyful and calm in the present moment becomes more and more natural to you. And then, through allowing the collective mind to work through yours, life ensures other events fall into place for you. You create within this world but the world prods you along, its the schematics/frameworks of destiny, a fundamental spiritual law of the universe that the universe PROVIDES pre-ordained synchronistic events in order to lead you to the pre-determined goals you are working to create

    Law of attraction is one of many other spiritual laws. Just one. Let karma and destiny help you too by allowing your life to flow and trusting that this is NOT all down to you, life is helping to create the circumstances of this situation for you

    I have been shown this through chance meetings, intuitive insights come true and many other paranormal events. That's part of why you experience synchronicity with your twin, its to show you - if life can pre-ordain and orchestrate synchronistic events on that scale - why can it not, in the timing you help to create, engineer a reunion for you? The universe is give and take. He is co-creating the process with you, as well. This is INFALLIBLE because you and him are one Soul. If you heal and clear up unwanted energy, so will he. If you make a positive advancement, so will he. If you work towards reunion - so will he. He's not blind. He wants you very much.

    Just don't be so hard on yourself because this process is something you are contributing to. There are higher powers protecting this union and your experience^^

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  7. Thank you Dark Angel for your advice. I truly appreciate the time and energy you put into offering my your guidance. I agree that there are definitely higher powers working to protect my union and my experience. And I do believe my twin soul is helping to co-create this process. I see that all the time :) It is the basis of my blog, lol. I have a thought and he becomes it- we co-create together. I agree with you about "if I make a step forward then so will he" because I see this all the time with us, and when I take a step backwards he shows me that too. I might explain it a bit differently than you do but I do see it. I understand. I really don't pay too much attention to the laws of the universe because it's hard enough for me to pay attention to the advice of my guidance, lol. So for now I am just trying to listen to my Higher Will and follow its lead with no fear, and I will continue to work on manifesting through my writing which has always helped me in the past. You and I think similarly but we only see it a little differently. Thanks again for caring enough to reach out to me :)

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  8. It's absolutely fine^^ I just had a feeling I should talk to you. I read through your blog when I was going through a massive ''dark night of the soul'' and had become separated from my twin in January this year. I had no idea what a twin soul was but I felt the connection, it took me time to study and experience and come to terms with everything but your blog really helped me. And I was intrigued about how despite our differences in age, location, gender etc.. our twin unions are quite similar. Mine is different, we are quite young, and gay, but I keep noticing similarities between your story and mine. The way my twin reaches out with weird syncs for me to ''hold on'', personality traits. I see a lot of myself of you and your twin in some ways sounds a lot like mine. Plus, I've been shown that my soul name too is ''Rose'', for quite a while. I just felt compelled to write to you

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    1. Well I am glad you did talk to me. And our "packaging" means nothing. You being a young gay male and me being an older non-gay {I hate that term "straight"} woman means very little because those are just labels, packaging and the human traits our souls chose for us. Maybe our soul energy is similar. Maybe we are from the same soul family or group or something so you recognize me. It could be the case. Anything is possible! Two totally opposite people can find themselves to be nearly identical on the inside! I wish society in general would understand this and stop concentrating so much on differences and instead realize we are all similar on the inside. We are Love :)

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  9. I mean I come from a different type of soul group^^ Me and my twin, as well as many of my friends are what's known as ''indigo children''. You see a lot of twins who don't meet their twin until their 30's or 40's, they go through years of unsuccessful marriages and it can take them longer to heal. In the case of us indigo's, everything just seems to happen quicker. We heal quicker, we learn our lessons quicker, our experiences come to us a lot quicker. It's just a very strange phenomenon, because about this time a year ago, I was at my lowest point. Profoundly depressive, self-harming, suicidal, consumed by fear and resistance to life. I've had two major ''dark nights of the soul'' where for months I would be releasing so much clutter, it felt like hell on earth. Now, I'm having my third ''dark night'' but it's more of a mini-awakening than anything. Tiny spurts of fear and sadness, but nothing like before. It's so mild I can't even begin to explain. I feel like now I'm clearing up my very deepest wounds, the ones from childhood. I got stoned a couple of days back and I was actually surprised that not an ounce of anxiety was triggered. I was sat there in this state of equilibrium, feeling like 99.9% of my fear is gone at this point.

    My twin is literally the sweetest person ever. A really tragic thing happened in his life, and it made him shut off from everyone, especially me. I think in the end, it was guilt that drove him away. But even though he's blocked me out of his life, I've seen he still has all of my friends and my sister on his Facebook. He has signs about me on his Facebook as well. There's a singer in his hometown with my name, I've seen on his profile (through my friends facebook) he's gotten some strange coincidences too. I've begun to trust in this path more than ever and I can clearly see good things ahead, as I've been shown. But I guess right now, I just miss him in the most human way possible. Sometimes I sense his aura, his astral body paying me visits, comforting me and reassuring me. I'm a lot happier with my own life now, and my current ''mini-awakening'' seems to be clearing up the last layers of ego within me, and I'm proud of myself for how far I've come. But god, do I miss him dearly

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  10. In essence, I think we've been through the same but in different timespans. With your past relationships, your healing and your current twin soul experience, it's been stretched out over 40 years of my life. Whereas pretty much everything you've described on your blog, regarding all this, has happened to me from the age of 15, up until now, 19. I've essentially had decades worth of lessons and experiences pushed into 4 short years of my life, and it has been overwhelming. They say ''indigos'' have that capacity, to deal with that much karma and growth in a short time span, without, like, dying. xD

    But it makes me admire you a lot as well, because you've lived longer, and gone through this stuff over so much of your life. I can understand why it must be hard for you sometimes, but I want to let you know I have every faith you and him will find your way back to each other. Like I said, destiny is schematic. You make your choices and you manifest, but the overall blueprint will make sure life pushes you there in the end, somehow. Which would mean either you or your twin finding another partner would be completely futile. You both know that deep down. Destiny will find its way of ending those relationships. Literally nothing can stand in the way of your reunion. You are the same conssciousness. The highest, most subtle (49) atomic type of energy-matter within the universe. Nothing, physical, energetic, emotional or psychological can stop your two souls joining as one, it's actually scientifically impossible.

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  11. Knowing it is scientifically impossible to stay apart is refreshing to know. I wish he was with me right now. I miss my Love so much. I'm amazed at how much healing you've had to do in a short time. What an inspiration you are!

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  12. Haha, thank you, I am flattered^^

    But yeah, love is something originating on higher dimensions. The universe isn't made of seperate dimensions but rather everything is made of vibrating particles that we percieve. But, there are 49 molecular subtypes of these, and they differ so much in their density that it allows them to occupy the empty spaces between all atomic matter beneath them. Love is of such a high vibration that over time, it will overcome the illusions of the ego as part of a natural awakening process, the healing mentally and emotionally will get exactly where it needs to be, and the fact you and your twin are of the same Soul, you will cross paths in some way. This could involve him coming back or a chance meeting somehow. Other relationships, fears, doubts, inhibitions - these are all obstacles but they are ultimately all inevitably overcome. Your love and your consciousness is of the absolute highest frequency, the frequency that creates all 48 dimensions within its superstructure. It will transmute, and transmute, over however long it needs, and create a physical reunion. Desire comes from the soul, and yours is authentic. And your soul planned this very carefully.

    And haha I'm flattered. I have done a lot of healing to be honest. My purge atm emotionally is bringing up really old childhood memories, I feel like I'm dealing with fears and hurts but on a level of consciousness I'd have as a child or early teen. I feel like I've hit the bottom layers of my ego and my guide seems to be manifesting synchronicities showing me that my healing is nearing completion, that this current experience I'm having is ''finishing touches'' and I got a really weird tech sync on YouTube, basically showing me that this kundalini is literally destroying every last roadblock in the potential of my authentic living and destiny, so I continue to follow the pathway. I've realised though that the universe sends encouraging signals, like my guide keeps giving me signals and signs telling me I have every right to be excited about my life, it's amazing how much love you can tap into just by thinking about it

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  13. But I think essentially sweetie, you need to find your own way through all of this. You need to keep working on your healing. You don't even need to do much. Hop on a meditation track and practice being, allowing and loving all the ''ego'' that comes to the surface, it just wants to be held and loved. Don't just do it for reunion. Do it for yourself. You'll notice your connection with Twin deepening when you do this. A few times I got weird signs from mine thanking me for my inner work. You can tap into each other and converse on the astral if you wish. You'll gain new levels of connection on the other planes potentially.

    Accept and appreciate all that is here and now, follow your guidance but have an open and receptive heart allowing whatever happens to happen. Find you way out of overanalysing, don't be so overwhelmed with thoughts that serve you no purpose and create unecessary stress. Relax into the process of life, find your flow within it, and use the essence of silence to continue to find your own joy. Even when healing gets tough, recognise your ego impulses and sensations that need not be acted upon. Over your journey, life will ensure you find ways out of old beliefs and thought patterns. The universe does weird things to ensure we heal exactly as we need to - heck, the other day my friend randomly invited me round and we all played Twister - I'd been getting syncs about coils and spinning all day, it was to get the kundalini moving! xD literally, trust and enjoy the process, you're going to find profound levels of joy and somewhere down the line, in a time unknowable, you and him will reconcile and it will be totally awesome, but accept that you are without him physically right now as necessary for your growth. let life lead you to where you need to be, and don't be hard on yourself for not getting things perfect - feel your feels as they come, love, feel, heal <3

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