Lee's August Energy Forecast: Triggering & Going Inner
I love Lee Harris. He's a spiritual teacher who really speaks to me.
When I came across James' Twitter feed the other day I knew I'd googled that name before and nothing came up. It was like I was meant to find it now. Maybe before I was not ready.
If you could have been in my body to feel my emotions when I found it... OMG. That man, that soul, is the only human on the planet who can bring me to my knees in the blink of an eye. It's so odd!!! I normally feel pretty sure of myself but he brings up and out in me the deepest most primal issues hidden inside of me.
My God everything Lee talks about in this video is what I am experiencing. I am proud to say that after the initial very negative emotions I experienced when seeing his feed I am calming down and seeing this experience for what it is: I am being triggered to clear shit out. I KNEW it when I found it. I KNOW it now.
And how lucky am I? It's being shown to me in a "gentle" way. These females he admires, which is bringing up issues about my own self-worth and how I view myself, are fantasy women. I have no reason to be upset about it. It's really silly for me to be upset but it's the triggering; I can't really help it. Yet a merciful God is allowing the tweets to trigger these issues in me instead of anything more "real." I have discomfort. I am feeling some ego-based energies but I am aware of them. I know why I am having them, where they are coming from, and I know I am being re-wired as Lee talks about here.
YES I am right in the heart of this. I am working to not go into chaos reactions. I did for like two days. I was SO upset. I cried and shook and felt so horrible. I had to talk myself down and see the good in what I found...
75% of James' Twitter feed is angelic goodness. Most of his tweets are about everything Awakening-based. It's ALL goodness. Like we are talking he's tweeting about pro-breast feeding, keeping women and kids out of poverty, kids having access to nutritious foods, speaking out against rape, supporting Planned Parenthood so all women of every walk of life has healthcare and reproductive care, etc. etc. He's SUCH a girl, lol. He loves humanity, and he loves the environment and earth and he adores animals and he is so passionate about his causes. He is "green" loving and perfect.
I keep going back to the post he made about the old couple in bed holding hands. I went back last night and read it again and he tweeted, "Very very precious." His heart is so beautiful.
I am so happy that James is MY twin soul. Mine. Whether or not he is here in my arms right now... he is, at the very least, MY soul connection, my twin soul. And I love him for that. For the first time I can really see how this is supposed to push me to own my goodness, my beauty, my inner Light. I *felt* it trigger me but I am happy that my awareness has grown to the point where instead of shooting off a really shitty text to him {and I contemplated it, knee-jerk reaction} I am able to go inner and see that I was meant to see those women and feel what I am feeling right now. I can see my self-judgment, see that I am triggered, see that why I felt like attacking James when I saw it {ignoring all the goodness I saw there too} was because it made me feel bad about myself when it shouldn't.
I am worthy. I am always MORE.
I am being mindful. I miss James. I love him SO very much. He is my very precious gem and yes his love is my gift and even though it has been scary and walking in the darkness can be overwhelming- I think I can finally see how this "process" is playing out. How he is doing his "job." I love how affectionate he is, and I am reminded of how loving he has been to me in the past. I am reminded of how he admires me like he admires these gorgeous talented strong women and instead of finding myself lacking in comparison to them I am looking in the mirror and reminding myself, "He feels that you are as beautiful as these women that other people consider goddesses. He feels you are similar to them, the same. He worships your inner beauty and your outer shine."
Triggered, and I refuse to react how I would have in the past. I refuse to act on my fear. I am no longer letting my sneaky fears rule me. I am seeing them, acknowledging them and working through them instead of acting on them
Thank God above for that fact, for my growth. And thank my dear twin soul for being my mirror to helps how me these fears. I could not see them fully without him.
I am ready to be that butterfly, ready for my wings. And I am ready to know my love again.
I firmly believe that this man is guiding me, teaching me, showing me and helping to heal me. No it has not been easy, and not easy to believe, but I see it. And I love him and this is why I defend him so. This is why I put him on a pedestal and why he deserves to be there.
Good video, watch it.
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