My Blog

I really love this picture and considering that my birthday is tomorrow and my love's is the next day and we are both Leos I find it appropriate.  So here it is.

I have some random thoughts I want to get out.  First is a reminder as to why I have the blog.  For one reason it helps me process my thoughts but I also have my personal journals for that.  Most importantly I keep the blog because I feel I am meant to, like it's part of my soul role.  My channeling stopped in October of last year.  Up till that point I could pick up my pendulum and immediately it very quickly and strongly spelled exact messages out to me.  Then one day it just stopped moving. Or it would spin in tiny circles to let me know the energy is there but I no longer get messages.  A really cute thing, though, is my son likes for me to hold it and he will say, "Jesus please make a circle" and it will spin in a circle.  Then he will say, "Jesus please go back and forth" and then it will stop and go back and forth, and so on and so forth.  And after all this time I still get tickled by that!  I find it awesome.

But the messages stopped a while ago.  I knew what I needed to know, and I felt I was supposed to share it so I have.  When James first went quiet I did think I might die.  Anyone who has been through a separation through soul like the one I went through knows what I mean.  It is not of this earth and not many people can understand it.  YOU just know something about it is not normal while everyone else around you is saying, "Oh just let him go.  He probably found someone else," or whatever thing they might say.  All while you feel like you are losing your mind.  I remember how that felt right at first until my guidance began very specifically explaining to me this process, and I saw it in action.

You'd think I'd be through it already but alas my fears have been strong ones to overcome.  That is why I am still separated.  Fear and damn doubt.  But oh well.  I am working on it.  The thing is I KNOW this stuff because it was taught to me.  Just because I have a hard time erasing my fears does not mean I don't understand and clearly see what is happening to me through James.

So I started the blog in order to help other people who do not get their guidance as clearly as I was for a while.  I felt like if I was one who was chosen to be spoken to directly like I was- it was for a reason more than just to help me.  Why should I be so lucky and then keep the info all to myself?  I decided I needed to share what I was told in case it could help even one person find even the tiniest bit of relief. Then I started sharing my experience too, and it grew into what it is today.  Progress updates, lol.  I don't know why me.  Maybe because I like to write and seem to be able to express myself well through the written word?  I'm not sure.

But again I wanted to reiterate why I've kept the blog.  I don't do it because I think my experience is so special.  It is not.  There are others going through very similar experiences.  I know because you write to me and explain to to me.  It helps me realize I am not alone. It helps me remember that this IS of the Divine.

It keeps me reassured that no I was not just jilted by the man I love.  We all have nagging dogged annoyingly strong fears, and it helps to know those fears are not real and this really is a divine process that other people are also experiencing.  There really is strength in numbers!

I like to think of us like a tribe of sorts.  Love Warriors.  And we need to stick together and find a place of love and light together.  There is a lot of arguing amongst the twin soul community right now.  I try to stay out of all that nonsense.  I know there are people out there who do not agree with my thinking or who adamantly do not believe in what I am going through or my take on the situation with James, and that is fine.  I can totally understand why it is so hard to believe. It sounds unreal.  I get it.  But still I share it because it is my truth.

Lastly one thing I have learned through all of this is when you have divine guidance you really should follow it.  There is that saying to "Test the spirits" and I suppose you must always know that messages you are getting are of Love and Light.  Mine has always been Light.  And I feel it has been the same energy all along teaching me starting with baby steps and leading up to a twin soul union. I'm pretty sure it is what is known as "Higher Self" or "Higher Will" or maybe even "soul."  I've had people try and tell me that I should not listen so closely to my guidance or that I should think for myself and what those people do not understand is when your soul begins speaking to you clearly- it expects you to listen.  Honest it does.  When you reach the level of soul progression where your soul has a clear plan for you and is trying to get you to follow that plan... it would behoove you to just follow that plan.  REALLY.  Really.  This is why we have divine guidance- to show us the way that is best for us, what our souls have planned for us.  And despite what we might want at the ego level, soul's plan is what is meant to be followed.  So I do my best to listen to my guidance.  I do not always listen, and lately {the more I progress in all this} when I do not listen- it hurts.  When I do not listen to my soul the result is not fun because normally the result is something fear-related and I do not like experiencing my own fears like they are real.

Something that might be difficult to understand, it is still blowing my mind, is that my doubts are turning into real things.  Like my guidance always told me to TRUST James and never doubt him. When I get a wild hair up my ass to do things like google him it is all based on doubt.  We don't go seeking information on a person unless we are suspicious of them or the situation.  Being suspicious of your twin soul and acting on those suspicions by researching them does not normally end pretty. Lately what happens to me is if I go looking for whatever- I WILL find something to push my buttons.  Spirit will ensure I find something I don't like.  Often it's not something I can point my finger directly to and say, "OMG this is horrible!"  It's more vague than that- but it's enough to plant more doubt and more fear in me, and it's totally on purpose.  So please don't go searching around about your twin.  You will find what you are looking for, believe me you will.  It honestly is freaky enough that it could make a weaker person go insane, the strangeness of it all.  And it is all because we need to LISTEN to what we are being told.  TRUST.  Believe.  Don't doubt.  Have faith.

I've been taught well from above.  I still have my own personal fears and healing to contend with though.  Just because I've been taught well, just because I know the info and the process, does not mean my shit is erased and BAM I'm all good.  This is why I am still going through it.  Because I've had some really big fears and doubts to deal with, and my fears and ego can be strong and stubborn. I can be a hard nut to crack.  When fear creeps in I want to do weak things like 1) call psychics 2) google search my twin soul 3) join online dating or something that equates to total running 4) let my thoughts spiral out of control until I am mother fucking God, Higher Self, Yoda and my twin soul all at the same time.  All of those can get me either continued silence or maybe even a nice strong mirroring message from my twin.  All so I can see my fears and doubts in order to face them and overcome.  I keep this blog in the hopes it can help some of you calm your fears a bit to know we are all in this together, you are not alone, and yes IT IS REAL.  You are not nuts, and no this person did not just dump you out in the cold.  Instead it is a divine process of healing and growth.

You are loved.

Tschus,

Jennifer