An Introduction to Soul

 

So you met someone and had an instant magical connection, right?  The love was intense.  The fear was too.  There was telepathy, mind reading, dreams, signs everywhere.  One glance from those soulful eyes had the ability to bring you to your knees, or like with my twin he joked that I could not make eye contact; looking into his eyes felt like I was being sucked deep into the cosmos.  Little did I know I was looking into the eyes of Love.  
The love came easy, right?   And if you became physical lovers it was intense in that "soul mate" manner of high-level passion and connection, two melding into one.  It may have been a brief love affair.  It may have ended quietly or explosively but often it can end abruptly.  Did she move away?  Did he suddenly fall off the face of the earth?  
Did the IGNORING begin?  The "running?"
Did it make you feel like you might die?  Like the universe is out to get you?  Like God hates you?  If so then you are in the right place, here at the doorstep of my blog.  I've been where you are, or where you have been, and it, in a word, SUCKS.  I know, and I am sorry for you.  I have empathy for you.  Come close so I can give you a big hug... but one thing I will tell you after consoling you briefly is this twin soul union is not for the weak.  If you *really* feel you have met your twin soul then you are a STRONG soul on this quest for a purpose.  So wipe your face, blow your nose, pull on your Big Girl Panties and know that you will make it through this.  You will LIVE.  And you can thrive if you allow "The Process" to work for you.    
If you are here you've either heard about twin souls/twin flames and feel you might be in a twin soul union, or you know someone who is and are concerned for them.  Or you somehow stumbled upon this page because you were meant to read what I have to say- it's how The Divine works.  Miracles happen when we are lead to find answers to the questions in our hearts.
This blog is to share the truth I have learned concerning the strange silence that often occurs when a twin soul "runner" goes quiet.  Through the guidance of my soul I am told that "normal ignoring is from ego but the Hellish silence of a twin soul is of God and used as an instrument of healing from The Divine."  Please join me as I explain the patterns that began to emerge in my twin soul experience and how my love's silence, which at first thrust me into the Hellish pits of despair, came to heal me fully from years of debilitating fear and doubt and in the end brought me closer to God by proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that The Divine is real.  I'm sharing my story to explain what I've been shown about the "runner phase" and how the ignoring, that inescapable silence, is used to 1) heal us from deep inner fears and wounds through our twins "mirroring" our fears back to us so we can see those fears clearly and overcome them 2) silence our egos so we can hear the whisper of our souls, 3) guide us once we are quiet enough to notice the signs, messages and synchronicity from The Divine, 4) once there is contact from a twin soul it is often used as AFFIRMATION that we are headed in the right direction, listening to soul, following our destinies, paying attention and doing what is best and healthiest for us.  I have found that "The Dance" is perfectly orchestrated to teach us and guide us, and my unique experience {which I will share here in all it's twin soul glory} will illustrate what I've been taught by my soul and shown through my twin soul's communication with me. This blog is a way for me to edify and celebrate in the wonderful love I have for my dear twin soul, an amazing man, friend, lover and soul mate who chose to love me and leave me in order to sacrifice love in exchange for bringing me my final healing.  I love you my Dear Prince and I always will.  I look forward to the day when we are fully reunited.

Human beings are, in their natural state, balls of glowing, dynamic, untamable, creative, beautiful and sometimes unpredictable spirit.  Soul energy.  We are each comprised of soul energy and it is the same stuff of which the stars are made {and all stars are binary which means they start as one, split in half into two, so each star in the sky has a twin star- it is hypothesized that even our sun has a twin star called "Nemesis."}  This energy is encased in our human vessel, our temple.  The Greek word Psyche means both “soul” and “butterfly.”  There is no example of immortality of the soul more striking and beautiful than that of the butterfly.  We are like butterflies, more soul than human just waiting for the glorious moment of change, to throw off the confines of our chrysalis and find our wings.  No longer regaled to the ground like the lowly caterpillar but ready to reach metamorphosis, we long to have our transformation, to realize we are more than merely human- to claim our divinity so we can soar, truly fly.

Like the Goddess Psyche who started her journey as a human but was transformed into a Goddess due to her sheer will in finding herself and in doing so claiming her true love, all of us on earth are experiencing our Hero’s Journey as we go through life, although many of us never realize our life experiences as anything more than the daily grind.  Unfortunately for many, society, family, addictions, personal demons, religion- a myriad of life reasons can dim the soul’s light or drown out the voice of soul leaving one to wander in seeming darkness, essentially taming what was meant to be untamable.  Our spirits darken, our temples crumble and turn to taverns.  This is not a state that soul chose for us.  It is not a state of being that soul chose for me, to have that light dimmed for the eternity of my life here on earth.

This is a story of soul, of our divine essence and energy, and how the divine works to heal us of our emotional “sickness.”  It is a tale of truth and love told from one simple forty year-old single working mom that most might be tempted to consider “usual” or “normal.”  Yet I am far from ordinary- my life, while challenging, is also subtly supernatural, almost normally paranormal.  I hear my soul, many of us do- you included, in all different ways.

I hear my soul clearly through signs and synchronicity {what many would call “coincidences” but are actually miracles arranged by The Divine to keep us on course for our destinies} and channeling- my soul speaks directly to me through channeling.  My soul has a unique style and personality yet it is the same universal voice we all have access to, the same energy that we all can tap into.  I have a close intimate relationship with my soul and so do you, you just might not realize it.  It is an all-knowing, all-loving, all-supporting awareness.  Soul will never abandon you.  Soul is safe.  When you hear your soul you are tapping into a fifth dimensional awareness; the realm of soul and spirit.  It is a unified field of energy, the same energy we are all made of, each rock and cloud and star is made of the same energy as our souls, as we are; we are all made of stardust.  But it is an experience rather than a place, an experience we all access in different ways.  The voice in my messages, when I hear my soul, is the simple voice of this unified oneness, this energy.  And it is a voice we all share equally.  For some Spirit contact begins with channeling angels, spirit guides, totem animals, gods and/or goddesses.  For me it is no longer a channeled external entity but the voice of my soul which guides me. 

It seems that following the voice of my soul has lead me right here: writing the tale of my healing, my soul quest which has been my journey to learn that belief, love and fear are three main elements that fuel our existence, and fear has been my greatest “monster” since I was a child.  Fear is dark, dank and low-vibration energy that assists in keeping people down and separated from their destiny.  Fear, as you well know, is prevalent in our world but belief and love are neck and neck with fear and those of us like myself, Lightworkers, are on a mission to overcome the darkness and spread the Light but to do so we all must be healed and made whole from the life challenges our souls chose for us before we got here to earth.

My journey of healing has followed a very specific divine process that many will find hard to believe but I am here to explain it in detail.  It is a process of healing through the love, and Hellish loss, of a very close romantic soul mate relationship known as a twin soul or twin flame.  Like the myth of Psyche, which we will find is not as much a “myth” as thought but instead the role of the divine bleeding into our third dimensional existence, I have been on an intense quest to heal and find myself, my real true whole and healthy Divine Self.  The myth of Psyche symbolizes a self-search and quest of personal growth through the learning, losing and saving of her one true love, the God Eros {better known as Cupid.}  The same can be said for the last two years of my life as I was being pre-healed, prepared, for meeting the love of my life so I could find him again on my fortieth birthday after being born in the same hospital at the same time as each other, have a brief and intense love affair with him, and very abruptly lose him in order to be thrust into what at first felt like a Hell of silent separation that would completely transform my existence as well as what my beliefs were about God and The Divine.  In essence suffering from the loss of love and the fallout that happened after my love left actually brought me closer to God.  And now that I am at a point where I feel healed and whole for the first time in my life I am told by soul to "fight for love" and work to reunite with my twin soul.  To do this I must own the love, embrace the belief in my journey, and trust fully in God.  So like Psyche I am pushing aside the veil which separates our third dimensional "reality," a reality which is really an illusion, from the fifth dimension of Spirit so I can cross the threshhold into magic where I hope to "save" my love; it is my goal to fulfill my quest and reunite with my twin soul just as Psyche faced her trials in order to reunite with Eros. 

Months before meeting this amazing man, my soul shared a beautiful analogy with me about my life.  I was told that my life is like that of a butterfly.  That I am more soul than human and the first years of my life were my caterpillar phase where I was not climbing high but instead clinging low to the ground, crawling.  My soul told me that I was transforming, entering into my chrysalis stage where I would begin metamorphosis so I could "tentatively" emerge as a butterfly and soar, tentatively because my soul knows me well- I can be wary and distrusting of Spirit.  Doubt has been my biggest "monster" to overcome in this lifetime.  

At age thirty-eight, in a despondent moment, I held my then one-year old son in my arms and made a silent plea to the Lord while looking up at the sky.  “God, please please change my life by the time I’m forty.  I’m sad and lonely and tired of being in a loveless marriage.  I can’t take it much longer, being a single mom who is married.  Please take this from me.”  My soul chose a difficult life experience for me. My trials have been to propel me through growth and understanding; I have known enough pain and suffering in forty years, experienced an abusive childhood, broken vows, unwise choices, and loved oh so hard and lost that love even harder… I’ve run the gamut of experiences so I could achieve a higher level of empathy in order to understand and help heal the pain and suffering of others.  In the words of Nelson Mandela, "Our human compassion binds us the one to the other- not in pity or patronizingly but as human beings who have learned how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future."

At age forty I met, fell in love with and lost my heart to the strongest of all soul connections, my twin soul also know as twin flame, mirror twin or essence twin.  We crashed into each other with a magic and mysticism neither one of us could really understand.  He, an Atheist who has no belief in The Divine or psychic ability, shared a dream with me via email that he’d had a week after we began dating.  He told me he dreamed I told him I was not truly “homosapian” {oh how I love my little scientist!} but instead a butterfly.  In the dream he was sad that I wasn’t really human but I told him it was okay, that I was supposed to transform into a butterfly so I could fly.  I remember he asked me at the end of his email what I thought the dream meant; I’d told him from the beginning that I channeled Spirit and he did his best to humor me despite his disbelief.  You, dear reader, can imagine my shock when I read his words and remembered the words of my own dear soul telling me that my life was like that of a butterfly: there was no denying we, this man and myself, had a special connection but at that time I had no idea just how special it was.  It was, and despite near silence for the last seven months, is still Divine.  In the words of my soul we have an "eternal elemental cosmic cellular connection" that causes us to be woven together in Spirit, is God-abetted and to be respected and held in the highest regard.  I am often told from above to defend my love for my twin soul.   

  After six intense weeks of sharing hopes and dreams together, daring to be vulnerable, exposing our most tender selves to one another, the universe yanked him away from me in a move that can only be called “divine orchestration.”  Our magnetism was so strong that it hurt being away from each other for more than five minutes yet suddenly he was gone.  We committed to a long-distance relationship with talk of marriage and babies and a shared life together, all my deepest most dearest dreams spoken from a man I adored from the first word he wrote to me.  One moment he was calling at two in the morning just to whisper “I love you” on my voicemail and in the next moment he disappeared, literally fell off the face of the earth for a while, and my entire life was turned on end in a big, inescapably predestined and nearly unbelievable way.  I’ve learned more in the last seven months of my life, since the very day I turned forty, than I had in all of my strong lessons before then, and believe me there were plenty of pre-lessons and they were all doozies. I am utterly all too familiar with loving and letting go... and I have been forced to do so with grace.  I’ve endured more than one darker than Dark Night of the Soul but nothing could prepare me for the life-changing, earth-shattering, otherworldly-dimension-exposing experience that comes with loving a strong soul mate, that comes with loving a twin soul. 

I invite you to join me as I share my own personal quest to overcome deep-seated doubts and fears to find belief, hope and faith and to learn the true meaning and value of unconditional love, affection without limit- no matter the cries of society or the urgings of social mores that tell a person to “get back on the horse again” once love ends.  Soul mate love is completely transforming and life-changing, orchestrated by God through the assistance of our guides, angels and most of all soul.  It is a love that is to be cherished with no rush to replace.  The love of a twin soul, no matter how painful the circumstances, transforms like the phoenix, burning away the old and re-birthing the new so one can rise from the ashes renewed like a glorious butterfly, finally finding its wings to fly.  To soar.

A song for my love...