Dirty Feet

I think this is why Joron made the comment about my feet always being dirty, and they are not.  He asked me "Is it because your floors are always dirty?"  I know it was a jab at my thought that my house is not clean enough, and for that reason I want to share a poem here that I found ages ago, when my little bean sprout was just a baby.  My truth, for the record, is I could give a flying fuck if my floors are dirty or there are dishes in the sink.  My child is HAPPY and feels like he is a priority in my life, and that is all that matters to me.

My son and I are TIGHT.  He calls us "peas and carrots" and says I am his best friend.  My son warms my heart and I let him play.  Like the other say he was making a spider web out of tape, Scotch tape all over the walls, stretched between door frames.  He then hung gummy bears from it and ate them like he was a spider.  I have big painted walls and he chalks on them.  Kids love it that I let them chalk on my walls, lol.  No biggie- it washes right off, and walls can be re-painted.  Creativity and a strong imagination... are only learned once.

I have the oldest most worn hardwood floors but I love them.  The hardwood needs to be refinished one day but why should I do it now when I have a little one who spills, tramples, dances, and runs his trains over every inch of the floor?  NO- it's fine as it is.  My home is warm, safe, happy and protective.  I have a friend and her children moving in with me again soon.  My home offers warmth to me and my son as well as other people.  I love my home.

I do NOT like scrubbing floors.  I'd rather leave the trains on the floor to hide the dust.

I wrote this on Facebook February 2014. 

"Time to remember what's important. Just because he's getting all grown up now doesn't mean those dust bunnies are my priority!"

And no- babies do not keep.  They grow, fast.  Thank GOD I took the time to slow down and cherish mine.  We have always cuddled and been close, reading and singing, "cuddle time."  Going through this twin soul separation brought me much closer to my son, and God knows my dream is to marry Joron and have another baby with him.  I am the best mother ever, and I am an amazing mother THROUGH huge adversity and strife, lessons that would test the patience of a damn saint. 

I will have the experience of being a mother who exists in a blissful life instead of pain.  Being a mother to a child created with a man who loves and adores me and our family.  I will have that with Joron. I know it, and I deserve it- and he deserves that with me.

Song for a Fifth Child

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, scrub out the bath,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

I hope that my child, looking back on today
Will remember a mother who had time to play;
Because children grow up while you're not looking,
There are years ahead for cleaning and cooking.
So, quiet now cobwebs and dust go to sleep.
Mommy will play and no floors will she sweep