The eyes have it. I saw so much in his eyes!
I have not heard anything yet and that's okay. I still feel totally blessed to have reconnected at all, for him to refer to me as "love," to say "Love ya!" and to tell me he wants me cuddled in my arms. I AM still a human being too and yes this all gave me infinite hope that, yes, this is a divine mission not of this world. And how wonderful is that? I KNOW this person, this soul inside an adorable body, loves me completely. I just know it- no qualms. So I feel totally blessed to have been given affirmation, and to be in touch with my old friend again. I felt him again, the man I dated. The cute little dude I fell in love with, and months ago I feared that would never be possible. I worried it was over. I hit a moment of terror where I feared I'd never hear from him again, and all of that is wiped clear now. I KNOW I will see him again. I will. Yes I would love to hear from him, and I will, but I am being patient this time. Knowing. Calm. As I already mentioned, our email conversation this time eased into a playful friendly love, like old times. How blessed am I? I know this will all come together in the end.
I fucking love, LOVE, the song, "Young And Beautiful." It is SO my song to Joron. Completely, totally. He will still love me when I'm no longer what he insists is young and beautiful.
Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
I've seen the world, lit it up
As my stage now
Channeling angels in the new age now
Hot summer days, rock 'n' roll
The way you play for me at your show
And all the ways I got to know
Your pretty face and electric soul
Dear lord, when I get to heaven
Please let me bring my man
When he comes tell me that you'll let him in
Father tell me if you can
Oh that grace, oh that body
Oh that face makes me wanna party
He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds
Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
I've been looking back through my channelings and there is a lot here I understand more clearly now than I did a few months back. Back when I was in major fear it was difficult for me to process what my guidance was asking of me. When I was terrified that he did not love me it was impossible for me to think he loved me or accept his love. I was stuck constantly battling anger, resentment and some rage, all fear-based emotions. That battle blinded me. Now my guidance is no longer channeling to me. It had to stop so I would be moved into some kind of action. It's a bit strange to not have that direct guidance but it's okay. I get it, and I am given many outward signs through music, etc., and even my son and Joron tell me things that point me in the right direction of what I need to be doing.
One thing in my journal that really sticks out for me is "Kill hillsides if gel not gem. Love him." Translated, lol, this means if I do not "gel" or cement or concentrate on my "gem" which is my dear sweet Joron, my gem and treasure, then I will murder my happiness. If I concentrate on the "monster" which is all the nonsensical mirroring, if I believe that, then, well, it would not be pretty. I have to concentrate on believing in the good man, my gem.
I've had upswings before that have not lasted but this one feels like a good upward step with no backsliding. I have come a very very good distance in a little over a year. I firmly believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that this man is playing a divine role as my "helper." In my journal I have written my guidance nearly begging me to pay attention to and believe our mission. "Do not kill his mission. Do not ignore his mission to "nom" (lol, eradicate} illness in his love. Kill not illness-mission not done." Here I am being told not to ignore his mission or doubt it. He is here to help kill illness, fear and doubt, inside of "his love" which is, of course, me. *big cheesy grin* If my illness is not killed then the mission is not done.
I then asked, 'What is my mission?" Response was, "Ignore his gentle love not. His large love is ignored. Loving him is mission. Love him. Love is a gift. Mission is ignore gem not. Kiss his soul. His love is a gift."
But see? I was too frightened to really accept this, especially scared to believe that he loves me. And this fear translates into me putting up walls as a defense mechanism and then I get angry at him, my guidance and God, and I refuse to believe.
And that was a vicious cycle for a while. I have to say this last session, these crazy messages he sent me and the hidden meaning behind them, the deliberate spirit-induced reverse psychology, totally convinced me none of this is his intention, and deep down this man adores me and, like he told me the other night. wants me in his arms. Now. Cuddling. Right now.
And I get it. It is a wonderful feeling. I have no anger, no resentment. Really no fear. It's odd. The only thing I have is the unknown of "When will I hear from him again?" but I am going to say that I will hear from him soon because I am going to make it happen by loving the shit out of his soul, lol. In all seriousness- to have a total lack of anger is a beautiful accomplishment in my world. I really only feel love. I still have a sense of missing him, and I love him to the ends of the universe and back but that fear-based anger is gone. I KNOW what's happening here, and it surely is not of 3D. I know that the only way to continue on, for me, is to have faith, patience and to manifest strongly by doing what my guidance asked me to before, to accept his love and believe in him and that strong love, and to love him in return, To realize that through all of this he has done me a huge favor in being my helper, and I can see that clearly because my GOD I am so wonderfully different than I was before, in so many ways, and I have this twin soul union to thank for that. Yes it's been painful but oh well. We are transformed through the fire, are we not?
He's going to be back with me soon. He's fulfilling his part of the mission in killing the emotional illness inside of me, and I will really shift into only loving and trusting him now. Continue with my writing and manifestation, and I know things will shift into bringing us closer into harmonization or whatever the final stages are. I feel we are getting closer for sure. I love him, so much, and I know he adores me.
XXOO
I absolutely love that song. It makes me think of who I believe to be my twin soul. Every line speaks to me. I definitely understand the pain of separation and I am still working on that. I, for the most part, have been on an upswing. It's difficult, especially when I keep having dreams of him that aren't the most pleasant. His new love interest keeps popping up in them. It frustrates m to no end, especially since I don't really understand what triggered the separation other than me asking to speak with him in person. On a spiritual level it might have everything to do with higher self, but it's still hard to wrap my head around. Even still I've moved past most of that and have really been in a space of love for myself and for him. Your positivity is inspiring, because I too believe that he and I are meant to be together in a physical union based on how our relationship unfolded and despite the separation. I don't channel, but I do hear my higher self from time to time, usually when I just wake up, but am not alert. Th last thing I was told is that he was choosing the illusion over the dream, which I interpret as him choosing his current relationship as opposed to our relationship and union. I am okay with that though, because I did my best to love him but now I need to focus on me and we will have our chance hopefully soon. I've stopped stressing over what he's doing, because it takes the focus off of me and there is no way I can influence or change his mind and I don't want to That's something he'll have to realize on his own.However, just like you, I know the love is there from his kiss to his touch. Thank you for your positivity. I just love it!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, and yes please stay positive. Another thing to maybe think about while you concentrate on working on you- write like I do, manifest. Do not believe the illusion which is this other relationship he has chosen. Don't write about it, talk about it, think about it or anything; it's like you have to choose that it does not exist and instead he wants you. Just like I refuse to believe the illusion which is the horrid mirroring that is said to me through my twin soul. My Joron's written words to me are parallel to your twin soul choosing to be in a relationship with someone else- both are illusions. But if you believe the illusion then you will get more of it. Do you see? But if you choose to believe in the love then love will eventually prevail. So in private write to his soul and explain that you know he loves you and you do not believe this illusion. You believe the dream, that you are meant to be together. Write out all of his good qualities, everything you know him to be. Choose to constantly manifest the dream and ignore the illusion. Believe in him despite what he shows you in 3D. If I chose to believe what Joron shows me then we would have ended over a year ago. I have fought through fear and chose to believe and I KNOW this will get us to reunion. You are being told he is choosing the illusion over the dream and he will do that if you believe in the illusion. So battle through for your truth, and you CAN do this! If you truly believe this man is your twin soul {because I honestly do think twin soul connections are unique to soul mate connections in that that mirror Every. Single. Thing. inside of us that needs to be brought to light} then believe only your truth and don't listen to anyone else who might defy you. Best wishes!
DeleteI will do that. Writing it out does help bring me peace. And I know he's my twin. You can only ignore for so long before the synchronicity drives you mad haha. I know the love is there though, so I will do that. Thank you.
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