They Pop In, Reach Out, Then Disappear Again. Why? "The Dance"

During this twin soul separation between Joron and myself he would reach out from nowhere, say hello then disappear again.  Or we'd end up on the phone after weeks of silence and he'd tell me he loved me, act like nothing really was wrong, we'd talk about a future together, he'd be sweet and loving, and then he'd disappear again.  OR that phone call would be a very tentative start to a slight reconnection- the end result was up to me, not him.

This is how it would appear at times.  One night I saw the movie "Winter's Tale" and  it really affected me.  I sat in the movie theater crying and telling God very loudly, "I believe in this. I KNOW what is happening.  He is my miracle."  A few moments later Joron text me.  1) he totally never text me anymore, and 2) he was at work and never ever contacted me during the day any longer.  It was basically unheard of for me to hear from him on a Monday evening, out of the blue.  He said, "Hi.  I was just thinking of you and thought I'd say hello.  How are you?"  We exchanged a few words and he told me he was not dating anyone, not dating anything but his rocks at work.  My phone was ready to die so I had to say goodbye.  He text me, "Oh boo on the dying phone.  Say hello before you go to bed beautiful."

So I did say hi before I went to bed.  And I received total and utter silence, for at least a few days in not a good week or so.  But see Spirit was trying to SHOW me- BELIEVE and it will come to you. Keep up the belief, always.  And I am still working on this.  But that strange "shout out then retreat" is typical in twin soul unions, part of a pattern that happens.  Try to see it for what it is and don't freak out about it.

I began to see a pattern emerge, a pattern that made some sense.  My guidance helped me with this although often I am made to see it for myself.  Somehow I'd either pray really hard or I'd write out something energetically powerful and hopeful, believing, or I'd put my fears to the side very strongly for a moment and THEN that is when Joron would reach out from the great beyond.  I had to listen to what my guidance told me and TRUST and then he'd come through.  After that, though, if I got freaked out and wondered what the Hell was going on, he'd disappear again.  Immediately.

See what would happen is we'd reconnect and he'd be very sweet where just days or weeks earlier he'd been cold, apathetic, lacking any affection towards me.  So what did I think?  I thought he was manipulating me, playing with my emotions.  My guidance would tell me NO NO NO- he's forcing you to face your fears and own your truth.  "If you ignore love then you are ignored."  This means when I ignore the fact that he loves me then I am not shown his love.  This means Joron would show me this detached ambivalence with no affection and it scared the shit out of me.  But THEN he'd come through all loving and just like he used to be when we were dating, and yes it really confused me at first.  We'd talk then he'd go quiet again and I'd be so afraid he was getting off on messing with my head.  It was at those times, when I feared, that he'd go immediately quiet again.

But a few times I just went with it and slowllllly he'd move back towards me.  Then he'd be saying, "I miss you!" and that turned into "I wish I was kissing you right now" which turned into "I love you and I want you to be my future!"  But the MOMENT I began to fear for some reason, and fearing would make me want to escape so I'd drink, *poof* he'd up and either disappear again OR he'd send me a cold detached email again.

The Dance- this is our dance.  It is all energetic, and in my union {I can't speak for everyone else out there} it was based on my energy.

I know most people out there, and many of the teachings, say "They are just the runner.  They get overwhelmed by the connection and deep emotion so they take off because they can't handle it."

That is not truth.  It is a very 3D emasculating unfair wrong viewpoint.  I understand it is how it appears.  They seem to be running off from their own fear but I just don't see it that way.  I know in my connection he left due to mirroring my own fears and doubts, and I really do feel it was orchestrated from above, the perfect career opportunity at that very specific time.  God knew if we spent any more time together, grew any closer, and THEN he left me- it could have killed me. Everything about our situation has been perfectly guided from above, and these periods when he comes close then distances again are the same way.

Lee and Sherry {Lois and Clark} told me, "You are the runner.  He is standing still, just waiting."  I think far too many twins blame their others for leaving, like they could not handle the emotion due to being emotionally immature.  I think that mode of thinking keeps twins apart.

But I also know my way of thinking is not popular.  People think I am placing all the blame on myself by saying my twin is "perfect."  Well we are all perfect in God's eyes, and all I saw from Joron when he was with me was perfection.  It was not until the separation began that he showed me that cold apathy; the man I knew face-to-face could never have pulled that off.  Never.  He's a walking ball of cuddly affection.

I have a friend I text with.  She's a twin soul too.  She and I work to ego together and I can be a little ugly with her and even to her.  I realized yesterday just how much easier it is to be hurtful to someone when through text or email because of the detachment of electronic communication.  This is why Joron does all of the mirroring via email.  With us it cannot be done face to face.  Our connection is too strong, and too loving, for that to even be possible.  He once even told me, "I'm so full of shit. Easy to talk shit via email," and it was Spirit's way of asking me, "Are you really going to continue to believe this is really him?"

It's kind of like reverse psychology.  Honest-to-God.  It's like they force us to own what is truth and what is fear, and I know this information does not work for everyone.  It works for me because it's what I've experienced first-hand, and I share in case it might offer clarity to even one other person out there.

So try not to fall hook, line and sinker for the teaching that twin soul "runners" run because they can't handle the love or the connection.  This is not true in all cases; it surely is not in mine.