Reflecting...

I broke down and began going through all my emails from the last year.  I have most of my emails from Joron except for the most hurtful.  I want to show you how Spirit tussles me through Joron. When he first reconnected with me almost exactly a year ago right now this was his first message to me:

"You're so hot. I miss being naked with you. I'm thinking it was just sexual attraction. Those legs and your taste..Yumm. Beautiful *my real name here.*"

That's so not him.  I was being pushed because I would not listen to Spirit.  Little by little I was given tastes of my sweet twin soul.  He would come through and tell me he wanted to see me, wanted to kiss me, wanted to talk to me.  But I was so scared I would NOT just surrender fully.  Fear constantly took over, and when I allow fear to overtake my good sense then I am hit with fear like in that stupid message above.  Later that night, the evening he sent it, we ended up on the phone for the first time since we separated and he said to me, "God damn it you know I love you!"

What a wild ride this twin soul journey has been!

So I can look back and see the twin soul dance perfectly.  It's like textbook twin souls.  My life could be a manual for twin souls.

Love them anyway.

Believe.

No fear.

Listen to Higher Will.

Heal.  No vices.  No addictions.

Protect your energy.

Believe that you manifest your own reality.

Believe in yourself.

Believe in your twin soul.

Believe in your guidance, Higher Will, angels, soul, spirit guides, etc.

No judgment.

No blame.  

I have no excuse to not move forward now.  I cannot backslide.  Patience it a must now.  When I get impatient I tend to resent him even if it's irrational.  God will have none of that.  No resentment.  The attitude we should have is that our twins want to come back to us.  We must work to make that happen by believing only the best in them as we heal.

He is a gentleman.  In one of his messages he told me what a great childhood he had, how his mother taught him how to be a gentleman and treat women.  *sigh*  He always treated me well.

I look forward to the day when I am looking into his beautiful eyes again.

And for the record- I DO have a life beyond figuring out my twin soul union, unfortunately once once one is chosen to embark upon this "Quest" life changes.  Priorities change.  My son will always be my main priority but after that is my twin soul.  He has helped to love me and heal me, and it is my goal to reunite with him- I want nothing more {besides my son's happiness} than to have a family and share a life with this man.  I am an independent sane strong healthy single mom currently doing it on my own.  I am no damsel in distress- but I LOVE him and am not willing to back down in what is important to me.  He is important to me.

I think it's time to watch "The Holiday" and "Love Actually."

I love my twin soul.