A Reminder?

Candle on The Water

Earlier today my brother sent me a text with this song.  He said he heard it and thought of me and when I clicked to see what song it was I immediately had to close my door here at work and bawl my eyes out.  This song is very meaningful. 

I am having a hard time realizing I have blocked James from coming to me all of this time, and it hurts so so bad.  I get scared.  I've run off too many times in my energy and I just feel so bad for doing so. 

I pray that James understands the process I've been through.  This has not been easy yet I've loved him through it all no matter what I've created that I've had to face down and know is not truth.  

The sad part to me is all along I've loved him and missed him and I ache for him, deeply.  I miss him so much and I feel like we should be together, married, with a family together. I feel like we are meant to have a child together and... I'm just so ready to be with him now.  So so ready.  I never meant to make it take this long.  I feel like he's wanted to be with me too.  I just wish we could be together now.

This song seems like my brother was meant to send it to me.  The words are so poignant.

I love James with all of my heart.  I wish I could have my sweetheart back with me right now.  I miss him so very much.  We are meant to be together.  I hope we can be soon.