What most people can't understand is I don't desire answers from him. There are no answers.
I'm reminded of the one time when I thought we would "reunite." And had I not energetically lost my shit and let doubt and fear run amuck inside me then we very well may have. He had been gone for about seven months, so seven months of that odd twin soul separation with the extended quiet. But I would get some contact mainly because I would flounder around desperately trying to believe my guidance. Well somehow I did something to help clear the connection between us and he responded to me and was himself again.
No explanation. No discussions. No questioning the fuck out of him. He was just suddenly the very kind soft-natured funny flirty lovey guy I dated. And he was like... nuts over me. It was sweet and seemed like a miracle but I knew not to ask questions about those prior months. I knew not to ask "But two months ago you said this thing or you didn't respond- why did you do that?" My soul let me k ow to "let it go."
For a few weeks I was able to enjoy knowing my boyfriend again. One day he emailed me and referred to himself as my boyfriend. No questions asked. No discussions. Nothing but talking love IN THE NOW. Well the back then. We simply did not address those months in between. And I asked him, "So you called yourself my boyfriend" and very matter of factly he said, "I think of you as my girlfriend." And I was like well shit that sounds good to me!
And I did not question a thing. I did not ask about those seven months. I did not really care to know. Was not important because all that mattered to me was that I had my sweet adorable sexy loving boyfriend back wanting to talk for hours on the phone telling me he could not wait to get back. Telling me how lucky he was to come home and see "his love" again.
I was at least spiritually mature enough to know not to press, push, nag and act all crazy needing answers about shit that did not really matter. I let it go. Unfortunately I could not totally let go of my fears over being forgotten again or let down again and I could not stop internally doubting his feelings for me despite the fact that he was emailing me at 3AM telling me "I can't sleep. I'm thinking about you." DUH. I wish I could slip into my Delorean and pop back in time to that Jennifer and slap some sense into her but... I did get scared and he disappeared again.
And I've spent like two more years trying to get past my fears and negative attachments since then.
But when people wonder why I did not demand answers from him when he was here it is because I know it is not necessary. I have enough faith in this union and its miraculous divinity to know that when the energy is right then we will come together in love again, in the right now, and we will move forward. I don't want or need explanations about these last couple years. And if I was to demand them then you had better understand my higher self would ensure I had more lessons to learn.
All I wish is for my dear sweet man to be back in my presence again holding me and kissing me and calling me his girlfriend again. No deep heavy discussions on the past. It can progress naturally
We can pick up where we left off. It is all I want. I do believe it is how this works. Like a magic eraser comes and wipes away anything that is illusion and leaves truth and love once that is the existing energy.
I hope that makes sense. So for any of you who are lucky enough to get in contact with your twins- always remember this info. Its a new start. It is planned that way. Let it be a new start. Don't need answers. Be stronger than that. Let anything painful that may have happened between you disappear, and it will. But you have to totally let it go like it never happened and I swear soul or God or something makes it like it never happened
It is the beauty of a twin soul situation
Just let love grow again.
No comments:
Post a Comment