I'm going through a very deep process of healing my ego and emotions. Much of it means going inner and addressing "stuff" in my journal. My blog has been more quiet and I try to figure out why I am SO angry at my twin soul. I have allowed myself to be very mired in hurt and disappointment lately, and the more I feel those things the quieter he stays. I don't like the quiet but it will not change until I do. There is just too much inside me to write it here on my blog. I am battling through the stages, and you can tell from my blog when I fall into ego. I have been slipping into ego more and more lately and I just cannot allow myself to do that. Why?
One thing I know without a shadow of a doubt about these twin soul unions is that "they" {the "runner"} the one who goes quiet- he mirrors us our fears and doubts. Bottom line. They are mirrors. If it feels like your twin soul has turned into a demon it is because he is showing you your own shadow side and inner demons. This is a process that can get very scary and hurtful. That hurt I am feeling over the words my twin has sent me, and over his quiet- "ignoring" me, needs to be totally healed and purged. It is what I am working through right now.
I can hold no anger or resentment towards him over what he shows me. There is one thing I have managed to NOT do through all of that and that is I have never reached out to him in 3D with anger. But I do in my head and that is just as bad, ONLY love and compassion will work here. ONLY. And again this is why I need to constantly be writing love notes to his soul, crafting him songs, drawing him pictures, feeling him on every level. We are told to see past our twin's human failings and speak to their "soul selves." Well you know what? My twin soul only showed me his soul self. He was a genuinely amazing man when we dated. Only when he became my mirror did he "run" or send me anything negative. It is not HIM.
One thing I will tell you I see all over the web is this idea that we need to "stand up to them" and stop taking the abuse and to walk away and to protect ourselves from our evil hurtful twin souls. "They" are so fucked up and need to heal. NO- it is YOU. It is ME. Only when we are able to totally take a step back and see that it is US being mirrored through them, only then can we begin to love unconditionally, take responsibility for our own fearful energy, clean it all up and then come back together. If a twin soul "stayer" cannot get to this point then she will never reunite. Bottom line.
If you are not a twin soul then maybe this process does not apply to you. I am a twin soul. My Beloved is my mirror, oh Boy Howdy is he my mirror and sometimes I do not like what I see. I do not like to see my fear of love. But he also shows me my perfections. He tells me I am loving and kind and good and pure and genuine, and honestly deep down I am all those wonderful aspects. Just on the surface I have ego-based pain and fear but that is not the real me, and Joron shows me this clearly. I can't escape from my own shit. And the only way I can stay "in love" is to write love. Feel love. BE love. So I am doing it.
Go anywhere on the web and read about "twin flames+resentment." Do NOT ignore what you find. If you point the finger at them and refuse to see yourself in them then you are not learning. I am having a difficult time with it sometimes. I am not saying it is easy but I do know my dear twin soul is not to blame. I have more trouble feeling his love. That's on me and it is something I am working through more privately than here. Here I just share this truth that we must realize they are our partners. They help up even when it hurts. *ouch* It can hurt. But these are all emotions we must look at and heal so we make room for our twin souls to come back to us.
Reunion is important. These people are not thrust into our lives to hurt us enough that we heal and are then left alone. No. We are meant to heal and come to a place of pure love that activates the soul balance which brings us back together again. So don't buy into the fearful hype of "cutting cords" and "detaching" and "moving on." Do not run off to the arms of someone new UNLESS you are going to convince yourself that your twin soul is not the one for you. If you choose via free will to honestly move forward and leave your twin soul behind as part of your past- then so be it. Move on. But if you know in your heart of hearts that your Beloved is your DESTINY and meant to be a part of your life, your life mate and love, then stay faithful to them no matter what it takes. No dating. No flirting. No sleeping around. No sex. LOL- yes no sex. Stay pure in heart, mind and body to yourself and your twin soul. Some won't like that. Some say we are meant to have more experiences with soul mates after meeting a twin soul but I don't believe that. I believe our soul mate experiences that come to prepare us come before meeting THE twin soul. Once that twin soul is in our lives- shit changes, for real. No excuses of "Well it's a soul contract to help me through." I just don't believe that. I do not. Once the twin steps in then it is time for change, and that means being strong enough to change ALONE. Not in the arms of another. Either deal with it or don't progress. Let it take longer. Distract with someone new. Use another person's energy to help you heal instead of taking the straight road to go inner and face your shit alone.
It's how I feel. It is not all about staying true to this other person. It is about being strong, going inner and being true to YOURSELF. I am in this to win this. I am not in this to distract by turning to the "love" and energy of another man. Joron has already helped change me, and he loves me. The last thing I will do is cave to fear and resentment and passive aggressive behavior by being with another, dragging a third party into my rollercoaster ride. No thanks- and what do I do in the end when my twin soul makes an appearance? Reject him? "Cheat" knowingly and willingly on the new man? Be torn and afraid of the consequences of my actions? Nope- I'd must rather just be with me right now until I can get into Radiance enough that my twin reaches back out to me. I will face this shit head on and with no other man in my life besides my son. That is my path and I think it is the path for most, if not all, twin souls. It just depends on whether or not we are strong enough to follow that path of isolation and scariness while we work through all of our inner shit. It can be a place of darkness but there is light if we allow it in.
I am seeking to push out the bricks in the walls that block out my light. I am far far from perfect. I share what I know while I battle to practice what I share. Know I love you all and I wish the best for you in your journey of facing yourself through the mirror of your twin soul. Know I wish that all of us will be reunited soon through healing, grace and love.
I love you. God loves you. Higher Self loves you, and your dear twin soul loves you- no matter what he is showing you at this very moment. Go write yourself a love letter, and then write him one. Or write one to your combined soul. You are one and he is here to help you. A helper, not a hurter. Know that.
Hugs,
Jenny AKA Rose
Beautiful heartfelt blog Jenny I am going through the same while my twin is into other relationships and laughs at this concept ...but yes let's all be what we are destined for ...God bless us all
ReplyDeleteHey!
ReplyDeleteSo being in this time.. whenever we encounter something that we can't explain the first thing we look to is Google. I have been scouring the internet trying to find answers for how I'm feeling. I have met the man of my dreams, literally he has been in my dreams since I was a little girl. The months after our meeting have been just perfect bliss, its like we were made for each other. The last month or so its like he has turned into a completely different person. Everything I hate about being in a relationship, issues in past relationships, all wrapped into one terrible, unrecognizable person. He walked away and blamed me for things I could not control. I have this terrible feeling like I took a shot gun blast without being lucky enough to die and now I have to walk around with this big painful hole.
Your post here has made me feel better and gave me comfort that I'll be okay, and everything will be okay. That I'm strong enough to stand on my own two feet and I don't need to run away to someone else. The thought feels like cheating almost. I too have been writing him letters he may or may not get, and now I don't feel like such an idiot.
Good luck on your journey as well and thank you for the inspiring words
You are welcome!! It is a process but it is REAL. If you truly want to be with this man then I highly suggest not running off to someone else. He could mirror that back by moving off to someone else or showing you more and more that he cannot be with you (if you move away from him then he will move farther from you.) Stay strong. Write to him privately. It takes work but it can be done. And seriously if you want to reunite then do not even think of dating. At all. Don't even fuss over an attractive actor. Focus your energy on what you want. That is how you bring it back to you. Focus with love. If you Focus elsewhere then you move farther from him and he could show that to you and it won't feel pretty. Just be alone knowing you are meant for him.
DeleteI stumbled upon your blog by accident. I read your post and though wow ... this is me ... this is what is happening between my twin and I. They are trying to stay on the path of sobriety and I initially thought that, that was our problem. When I read what you wrote and looked at what I am feeling inside (dark, very fearful, manifesting like crazy), the issue is me. Thank you for this post, I found you for a reason :)
ReplyDeleteGlad it's helpful. Reading it I can see I have not always followed my own advice. But it is good guidance. Much of it came from above. Some from process of trial and error, experience. But yes if you feel fearful, dark, angry at all, etc. then that will be shown to you via your twin.
DeleteIve been feeling so absolutely alone and isolated, thank you for this, you truly spoke from
ReplyDeleteThe heart and it made me feel as though I'm not completely losing my mind ❤️✌
I will continue vibrating unconditional love, i.e.: without expectations
Yes I do speak from my heart! I might be far from perfect and I fuck up a lot but I do speak from my heart most of the time! You are not alone, remember that. I am glad my words helped calm you. Do continue to love this person unconditionally, and yourself too... but I am one who does not totally agree with having to "let go" of all expectations. I like to think of it more as "hope." Go ahead and have HOPE that you will one day have what you want but try not to get too disappointed when "strange" things happen or you don't "get what you want when you want it." But please never give up on hoping, hold on to your dreams!
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ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for you with your heartbreak. I know situations of the heart can really ache. Hugs to you.
DeleteHi there. Like everyone here, I have been searching online for cases like mine in order to understand better what is happening and find some peace. I am heartbroken. Since I met my TF and he became a runner, I feel empty and destroyed. I was always so strong and suddenly it's like I don't have where to go. I started by doing a lot of things i read here and i kept sending him love and positive thoughts. And i tried the to reconnect with him a few times but each time he gets angrier and angrier. Last time it was too much. His eyes were full of anger while mine were full of love.
ReplyDeleteI can't take it anymore. I feel devastated. He looked at me like i was totally dumb for still trying to reconnect with him. I couldn't be with anyone else after meeting him and several tried. But now I am started to feel that I need to move on aswell. This is incredibly painfull and he made it very clear he doesn't want me in his life. I just wish this pain to come to an end :(
I am sorry you are hurting. I don't really have any other words to offer you. Only that I understand heartache is painful and hard to deal with. My heart goes out to you.
DeleteI am in the exact same spot right now. We dated and it was amazing and he told me how much he believed that we were soul mates and such. Then all of a sudden both of our lives got flipped upside down externally (family, living, finance, graduating university) and he broke up with me to move back home. After that he never contacted me again even though he made a big deal about wanting to stay best friends after. I recently reached out after being blocked on everything (never contacted him after or anything) and silence for the last three months and he just bursted with hate. Like ive never seen that side of him and how much he just hates me and the fact that the last two months of our relationship were the most stressfull months in his whole life. A few hours after recieving that angry email back, his family all blocked me from social media too. Im just kinda at the point of accepting that hes displacing his hate and emotions onto me and what the relationship brought up deep down. But im not gonna sit around and accept that he can talk to me in that way so here i am living my life. No interest in any other man. The only man i am wants nothing to do with me. Huge life changes happened and still are happening so i guess thats the good part that resulted from our relationship... getting oushed to deal with things i kept putting off and avoiding. Good luck to you!
DeleteI can't speak to why he'd be so mean after leaving unless he is a twin who is mirroring some doubts and fears back to you. If he is not your twin then there are obvious issues there. I doubt he hates you though. If you have any interest in talking with him again then the best and only thing you can do is try and forget the hateful energy and remember/focus on his goodness. If he is your twin soul then that will calm the energy and your next interaction will be better. But if you keep thinking about, talking about or writing about his hate actions then he will continue to behave that way (if he is your twin.) Tricky I know. Good luck to you.
DeleteGood writing. I'm going through something similar. We both hurt each other. We both mirror each other. I always considered myself easy going and calm, but she manages to bring out this incredible rage I had no idea even existed within me.
ReplyDeleteWe've alternated between runner and chaser. Ignorer and ignoree. It started out with me ignoring her. This lasted a good 3 years. Now the tables have turned, and she's the ignorer, the one running away. In her case, into anothers arms. Which, I mean, there's just rage there. You just want to sock both of them. Worse than sock. Which seems so unlike me, but must've been buried deep within.
But I can understand now how she must've felt when I ran and ignored her. Just this frustrating, helpless feeling. She tried countless times to connect with me, but I just ignored her. I had my own issues, my own life to deal with, which I wanted to sort out before going back to her. Then, when I was finally ready to reconnect with her, she basically turned her back and shut me out. Turns out she had gotten involved with someone else, and seems content to focus on him and forget about us.
Despite the fears she would mention to me, that I was with someone else, I never was. It barely crossed my mind to be with someone else. My heart was with her. To me, there's no greater betrayal, no greater sin to a relationship than to cheat, or give your love and heart to someone else. I would never betray her that way, no matter what was going on.
So when I found out she had done that, actually various times during our separation, I mean what else is there. Just rage. And disappointment. She did the UNTHINKABLE. She committed the ULTIMATE sin in my eyes. She fricken cheated. More than cheat, she gave her love and heart to someone else. She meshed energies with someone, who I find absolutely disgusting. It's just the ultimate betrayal.
Worst of all, she's tainted now. She's no longer pure. She'll be forever tainted and impure. Our relationship can never be pure ever again.
Can I really blame her though. I did run out on her and ignored her basically completely, as I got my life together. She tried and tried to connect, to get me to talk to her, but I never did. Can I blame her for giving up on me. Not really. As huge a betrayal as it is, I mean this is treason of the highest order to me. You can't get worse than to not only have sex, but to give your love and heart to someone else. It's the ultimate betrayal. But as much as I loathe it, I can't really blame her for looking elsewhere for a relationship.
Still somewhere in my heart, I just can't find it in me to forgive her. Because I never would do that to her. I respect our relationship too much, I love and respect her too much, to ever fricken do that. No matter how bad her behavior was, I loved and respected her and our relationship too much to ever look elsewhere for love or romance. She obviously didn't. Which hurts. And makes me so mad, it's hard to imagine.
Will we ever get passed this. I honestly don't know. She'll have to literally beg for forgiveness, before I even consider being with her again. To me, it's basically unforgivable. Again, not so much that she'd have sex, or love someone else. But the purity, the purity we once had, is gone forever. And it'll never come back. It's like virginity, once you lose it, that's it, it's gone. Our once pure relationship is gone for good now. And honestly, I don't know if I can ever forgive her for ruining that.
So this is where we stand now. I know eventually she'll be back, but it just will never be the same. It'll never be as pure. The best we can hope for now, is just a regular relationship. But the closeness you get from true purity, is gone now. Which I value above all else in a relationship, hell in life. Purity is so important to me. And it's gone now. It's fricken gone.
Gosh John, my heart goes out to you while you are going through and processing these tough emotions. I don't really know what to tell you. I don't know how she felt when you did not respond to her. Maybe she felt hopeless and like you were never coming back so she decided to find love with someone else. I don't know. If you were not contacting her, and if you were not a couple, then she might not see it like you do even if she does love you. In her defense, if you were not contacting her at all and she had no idea where you stood with her and you did not have this commitment together, then she is not "tainted" or impure for sharing her heart with someone else- that is your opinion not fact although I do understand that you are hurting. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive her for what you see as a betrayal. Like you said here, as much as you loathe it you also can't blame her for looking elsewhere for a relationship after you did not respond to her for three years. And really- when you truly love someone you don't hold it against that person if she has been with another. If you are fortunate enough to ever be with her again then you love her UNCONDITIONALLY, let it go and move on! Again I am so sorry you are hurting. I hope your heart finds peace and forgiveness.
DeleteNo she is tainted. There's no doubt about that. Once you mix your energy with someone else like that, forget it. There's little chance of coming back from that. You will be a less true version of yourself when you mix energies with someone else like that, especially with sex.
DeleteWe had such a beautiful and pure relationship before. It was like the purity of GOD. But now, she went along and ruined that. And there's just no real hope of turning back now to the purity that once was.
Which incredibly disappoints me, to the upth degree. Because there's few things in life I value more than purity. You don't want to be some screwed up person full of all kinds of different energies, like everyone else is. Folks don't even know what their true selves feels like, they've become so impure, their genetics and energy has been so intermixed.
There's a reason ETs and even our global elites, value genetic and energetic purity above most other things. You don't want to be some mixed up, screwed up, impure rouse full of discordant and toxic energy that isn't yours. That's how most of humanity is, and that's a major reason why we're so screwed up here.
And unfortunately, she has now done the unthinkable in my eyes, and screwed herself up by connecting and intertwining her energy with someone of lower genetic and energetic stock. Someone really messed up. And you can tell, she's different, she's not the same. She's become more toxic and egocentric because of this relationship. You can just tell the quality of her energy is much lower now, to the point where I find it repulsive.
How the hell are we supposed to get through this. Unconditional love, sure. I'll always love her unconditionally. I always did, and always will. But in terms of a relationship, in terms of actually being together and interconnecting our energy again, I don't know. I really don't know. I refuse to lower my vibration and energetic quality, in order to be on her level. She'll have to rise up to mine. How, I don't know. Major energetic purification will have to be done. Then she might be able to get back to her true pure state, like she once had. Only if she does that, could I really forgive her and embrace her again.
Call me a puritan, but this is a truth of the universe most folks don't have a high enough consciousness to understand. ETs understand this though. Royalty always is keen to keep their genetics and energy pure. And there's a reason for that. But, in my heart of hearts, I do love her very much, and want to be together again. I don't know. I honestly don't know what to do about this whole situation.
I wish you the best in what you are going through. Take care.
DeleteUnconditional love is without conditions
DeleteThis is amazing thanks so much! maybe you can help me a bit.
ReplyDeleteI met him in 2015, the ecstasy moment I have ever experienced. but for some reason we could not be together, instead of talking to me, he uses social media to put on posts to say things; at first I was confused I felt they were not to me, and I always initiated our convos...and I was also just running away from my pain... through the two years apart, I didn't see anyone seriously while he was in a relationship one year ago already. He kept it hidden from me, but once I saw something on social media he was with someone.. I deleted him. Again he didn't talk to me just post some signs on fb showing he wanted to be with me or so... but still he and his gf were not 100% separate. Then I reunited with one of my soulmates, an amazing guy, I put it on social media coz this guy really inspired me to be a better person. I felt miserable coz the guy was leaving. I love him too However no love could replace the one with my twin. The next day my twin posted a picture of him kissing his gf. These two years it has been really difficult for me; my previous job fell apart and my entrepreneurial journey is also suffering. I texted him briefly but I also don't wanna disturb him coz he's in a relationship. I really don't understand, if he loved me so much, how can he b with someone else. I have some issues I wanna fix myself. But for now, my heart has really shattered so much, I just wanna love myself. The future is so blurry between me and my twin.. shall I just let it go, once and for all?
Hello. If you know this man is your twin soul then no I don't believe you should let it go. I don't think that is even possible, really. Your soul will always bring him up to you. What I do feel, though, is since he is your mirror you do need to be focused on him and no other man. I don't mean this from a moral standpoint. Love is good and feels good but as your mirror he is going to reflect back to you whatever you are doing or feeling or thinking. So if you are with someone else, or slightly dating or talking to another man then expect your twin to be showing you that he is doing something similar. You just wrote above "If he loved me so much then how can he be with someone else" yet you were with someone else too- so you know it can be done. He CAN love you and still be with someone else because you were, so you know you can love him and love someone else too. I do not mean you should feel guilty. Just always remember that as your twin he does love you even if he can be with (and love) someone else too. If you are really serious about being with your twin then my advice to you (especially since this other man is leaving and you won't be with him any longer) is to stay committed to your twin and only your twin and I would think that eventually he is going to no longer have the GF and then once you've focused on knowing his love, and loving yourself, and focusing on your union and belief in all of this, belief that he loves you, etc. then you are going to see a shift. His social media is again going to show you signs that he wants you. It is his higher self's way of showing you that this man loves YOU but YOU must do what you need to do in order for him to reflect only love and commitment back to you. You even being one iota interested in another man will keep your twin from you. I believe that 100%. And that is a choice you CAN make. You CAN be with someone else, love someone else, but if you do then you won't be able to allow your twin back closer to you. Instead you will see reflected back to you the same- him with someone else. It is energetic. Like attracts like. What else can we expect? But don't think he doesn't love you. Don't think there is no hope. I really feel that if you regroup, stay committed to your twin (think of yourself as his no matter what 3D shows you right now) and then see what happens. I'd venture to say that eventually things will shift and the GF will somehow move on. I hope this helps. And again the choice is up to you. You have already experienced that you CAN be with someone else. The choice is really up to you. Take care!!!
DeleteLook past all of the temptations to be a victim, everyone on this earth has the potential to have a twin. Everyone, it's just choosing to go with love and understanding that everything is based on that. We have been conditioned with so much bullshit in the media that we don't evolve as souls.we get distracted by all things that don't matter. We start playing the I did this for you and you do did what we start keeping score. That's not love. Ever wonder what it would be like to have someone in your life that you truly know no matter what ever happens they will be there for you? Be that person, you will be surprised with the outcome . I know for sure I was. I would never take all the pain back that I felt for anything in this world. It created my life into art. Just love someone no matter what, don't listen to others advice, listen to to your heart like really even when you think your crazy... keep listening!! It will change the world one by one.
ReplyDeleteHi. Thank you. Sometimes I am not happy to walk this path although I do love my twin soul. You are right though, look past the temptation of feeling like a victim. I just wish this would move forward now, light at the end of the tunnel, limbo over. Resolution. But anyway. In most cases I feel my love is unconditional, especially with James. I love him no matter what. I love him now and we have not spoken in almost a year and before that was hit or miss, more miss than hit but I still loved him then and love him now, and I know I will always love him despite him being here in my life or whatever. I just love him. Other people do irritate me but I try to wish them well and move on, let go, etc. I am not perfect but I do the best I can. And I do not listen to others. I listen to my heart. The only way I'd ever "move on" is if or when I decided to, not based on what someone else says to me. I think you could definitely say I love someone "no matter what." Just really tired of being alone and without that person. I am so ready to have love in my life now. xxoo
DeleteHi fellas,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this wonderful article really!
If someone want to read more about that ways to get rid of anger and resentment I think this is the right place for you!