Take Me to Church

Take Me to Church Hozier

The first time I heard this song, "Take Me to Church," I cried.  I cry every time I hear it.  My twin soul is an Atheist and I was a little concerned about this when we first met.  For like five minutes, lol. I actually was very drawn to him over his passion for what he stands for.  On our first date he wore a black t-shirt with a big fat red "A" on which is like the Super Hero symbol for Atheists everywhere.  I am so not surprised that he did this considering that later I found out he is my twin soul- twins are supposed to push each others buttons, right?  Meeting him pushed my boundaries of unconditional love more and more.  And I am not perfect.  People piss me off... but it does not mean I don't love them.  They may get under my skin but this does not mean I don't wish the best for them.  Joron though- once I understood him his Atheism was not a turn off.  It did not bother me.  I didn't feel like we'd never mesh because he does not believe in God but I do.

One of my aunts said, "But how could you raise a family together?"  REALLY!?  Since when does a belief in God constitute whether two people love each other or could raise a family together?  Why all these walls and differences and polarity?  You know from reading my blog that the afternoon before I met him I got a fortune cookie that read, "You have a magnetic personality but be aware of your polarity."  I don't know exactly what that means but later that night I fell in love at first sight with an Atheist, and since most twin souls have one huge difference between them I have to wonder if that's it for us.  The kicker is- I don't care.  It does not bother me, and he accepted my belief.  Now this is not to say that it did not come up at all.  We talked a lot about religion but see Joron and I believe very similarly about religion.  I don't like religion at all; it's a bunch of ruled used to keep people in line.  I believe in GOD.  He does not believe in God.  He cannot disprove God but he can't prove God either so he calls himself more of an Agnostic than an Atheist and to me- none of it matters.  All I want is my sweet loving boyfriend back in my life.

He told me "This Atheist donates his time at church soup kitchens and works in animal shelters."  He explained that he is empathetic but he doesn't need a belief in God to make him be a good person. Once I said he must not feel a lot of guilt but he looked at me and said, "I feel guilt, of course."  It;s not like Atheists don't have FEELINGS.  They simply do not believe they have to please an Almightly Sky Daddy.  But I too do not believe we must please a "God."  No, as I am well learning, we create our own outcomes.  There is no God who smites us or punishes us or rewards us.  We do that on our own.  LOL.  Don't I know.

One day while dating he said to me, "So when are you going to take me to church?"  I was like WTF? I'd always asked my ex-husband to go to church with me but he never would.  Joron being an Atheist I never considered taking him to church and I told him so.  He said to me that I am his love and church is important to me so he wanted to share that together.  And then right before we separated he said again, "I can't believe you have not asked me to go to church yet.  I've been waiting."

Also one night I made us dinner, spaghetti.  It was the only time he ate dinner with me at my house.  I can still remember him sitting here eating with me.  Happy memories :)  Right before we began to eat he said, "Wait.  Aren't you going to pray?"  Well I will admit that I do not always pray before my meals.  I should thank God for what I have but I often forget.  Joron said to me as he folded his hands so humbly in his lap and kind of bowed his head a bit, "Please, go ahead and thank God but if you don't mind I'll just thank you for the food."  He said it with the cutest sweetest little smile.

An angel.  I swear to God.  An Atheist angel.